Moments, part 3

That moment when I'm sitting in a missions trip meeting and realize that I'm going to help execute a fundraiser in one week.

That moment when I realized that I just returned from a life-long dream trip to Israel and now I'm baking cookies for my Brazil trip fundraiser.

That is a moment of wonder, of feeling so blessed that I felt  like I might explode. A moment when I stood in awe of God for His care for a little girl's dream of Israel, and a high school girl's dream of Brazil (and a college girl's desire to be done with grad school!!).

A moment when I'm thankful that, for all the time God allowed me to struggle in the dark, He gave clear, tangible proof of His goodness and compassion and faithfulness--and undeniable love for His children. How kind is my Heavenly Father!

 

 

Some days are long. Many days are far from easy. And sometimes I have to search for the evidence of His work around me. But honestly...when did God ever call us to live passive lives? We are called to seek after wisdom (Proverbs 2:1-5, Proverbs 4:7). Jesus commands us to seek first His kingdom (Matthew 6:33). We are to be seeking after God (Hebrews 11:6, and how many times were the Israelites reminded to seek God?). Peter reminds us to seek peace (1 Peter 3:11). That's not the end of the list--but get the idea? Thanks to the Fall, life is not a walk in the park. One day, we will regain what Adam and Eve lost in the garden--the fellowship of literally walking with God.

"Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. … Behold, I am making all things new" (Revelation 21:3, 5). This is my hope. Praise God the dark days are not forever (no matter what our feelings tell us at times!), and we don't even have to live for those "might explode" kind of awesome moments. Those moments are great. But honestly, a lot of tough moments have happened since that missions trips meeting. Israel was a long time ago, it seems like.

Moments come and moments go. But my God is sure and steadfast, and never changes. I have always loved James 5:13, because it reminds me that God walks beside me no matter what.

"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise."

We don't walk through life alone, and my heart clings to that. And one day, that will be fully realized in the physical presence of God--and my heart really clings to that!

So yes, I'm grateful that in a quick turn of events, the only thing left to have grad school accomplished is my internship next summer. I'm grateful that it is working out to coincide with my church young adult group missions trip to the same place (I'll just be there longer). I'm grateful Israel happened.

And I'm grateful of the reminders that while God was answering these "smaller" requests, He is still working on the "bigger" requests in my life that are still unanswered.

Seek the Giver more than the gifts. He does indeed give incredible gifts...but His greatest gift is Himself. Follow hard after Him.

 

p.s. Please know that I'm preaching as much to myself than anyone else, if not more so! :)

::HOPE::

Hope.

 

Last week, I took three separate walks with my nanny-kids. The week before (well, I was actually out of town dealing with ice and snow issues there, too, but the week before that…) I was calling work to make sure I was needed and then shoveling snow off my car so I could leave. I actually like shoveling out my car. Such an accomplishment! :) And I actually love the snow.

 

But I do love Spring. And flip-flops and iced coffee and reading outside and taking walks. Especially walks with my little kiddos.

You gotta love where I live, because with as much snow as we got that week, the snow piled up. Especially along the curbs and especially the curbs at the crosswalks. But a few days of 60s and the snow melts. Except at the curbs near the crosswalks. So as I'm basking in the sunshine with my 3-year-olds in their double-wide jogging stroller, or the 2-year-old and the 6-month-old (sleeping 2-year-old and almost sleeping 6-month-old, mind you) in their very long double stroller, I had to stop and shovel snow away with my foot. Or actually take another route in a few places.

 

This week we've pulled out the hats and gloves again. Last week was just a teaser. I will drink my coffee hot yet for awhile, and have to keep explaining to the persistent 3-year-old that temperatures in the teens and twenties with even lower wind chills definitely are not conducive to going outside to play. Really. I promise I'll let you know when it's warm enough to go outside!!

 

But it's more than just a "teaser"--there's hope mixed into the February thaws. A reminder that snow and cold and dry skin and no walks don't last forever. Spring is coming...and it's actually just around the corner!

 

Hope is refreshing and reviving. I know, because I've experienced it. The pain still hurts, but the reminder that I am God's child, that I am forgiven and now blessed, and that I am promised that everything that happens in my life is a part of my sanctification (and not wasted or unnecessary), is a breath of fresh air. It's peace in my heart. It's strength to take the next step. Praise God for hope!

 

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

{Romans 12:12}

 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!

According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be

born again to a living hope through the resurrection of

Jesus Christ from the dead…"

{1 Peter 1:3}

 

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,

so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may

abound in hope."

{Romans 15:13}

He who Judges Justly

 

 

For to this you have been called,

because Christ also suffered for you,

leaving you an example,

so that you might follow in His steps. 
He committed no sin,

neither was deceit found in His mouth. 
When He was reviled,

He did not revile in return;

when He suffered, He did not threaten,

but continued entrusting Himself

to Him who

judges justly. 

 

{I Peter 2:21-23}

Leaning on God's Mercy

"When wanting to

cling to wrongs done against me,

I must die."

 

God is a God of justice. Sin is and will be punished. One day every person will stand before an almighty, holy God and give account of himself.

In the meantime, the world is rarely fair--quite honestly, justice is not always served on earth. However, we need to remember that

"no creature is hidden from His sight,

but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him

to whom we must give account"

{Hebrews 4:13}

and also

"for this light momentary affliction is

preparing for us an eternal weight of glory

beyond all comparison."

{II Corinthians 4:17} 

God is sovereign and wise, and He is working all things for His glory and for our good (see Romans 8:28). 

Have you ever prayed for justice in a personal situation? Who would have benefitted most--you or the other person? It's come up a few times lately in my ladies' Sunday school class, how quickly we pray for mercy for ourselves but justice to others. 

It's hard to stand back and watch people seemingly getting away with wrong. It's hard to be in pain. But we must die to the fleshly reactions--anger, bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness--and rather put on Spirit-controlled reactions--forgiveness, submission to God's will, trust, love.

I have thought before "but if I let go, then they'll get away with it!" How foolish is that. As if I hated sin more than God does. And praise God He also has more mercy than I do!

Hardships

On one hand, I hesitate to say I've been shattered by hardships. The hardships I've known are certainly not the worst life can hold.

But yes, I've known hardships.

I've seen plans and ideals and dreams shatter.

I've despised them.

But I'm learning not to--for whose daughter would I be if I did not experience such things? {See Hebrews 12:7-11}

As the Gospel Primer says later, "on the other side of each layer of dying lie experiences of a life with God that are far richer, far higher, and far more intimate than anything I would have otherwise known" (page 42).

Amen and amen to that. I would indeed rather have Jesus!

May I encourage you today to keep on?

For the moment all discipline

seems painful rather than pleasant,

but later it yields the peaceful fruit

of righteousness to those who have

been trained by it.

 

{Hebrews 12:11}

::The Prohibited Thing::

A few weeks ago I was working on this post, and I was amazed at how much the cross and death kept coming up. I listened to a couple audio books in the car by A.W. Tozer, and both had chapters about taking up our crosses and dying to self. Evidently it wasn't just me who decided to do some cross-focusing...perhaps it was God's idea in the first place!

Easter is coming up. I didn't plan this series around Easter but it certainly fits. Easter, after all, happened because of the cross! Jesus died--but we serve a risen Savior because of Easter morning.

I actually planned this series because a week ago Monday I began classes again. Christmas break plus a half-semester of no classes has made for a nice 13-week break. Really nice. Watching movies, reading books (I haven't made an official count yet--but many, many books!), hanging out with friends, attending a Bible study with plenty of time to do the study/homework part, trying not to sleep in but not having to worry if I do...much of that went away last week.

For me, grad school is a dying to self. My time, my schedule, my priorities, my activities (and yes, my blog writing), all have to shift in order to hit the books. I never asked for grad school...but God obviously knew I needed a lot of sanctification and this happens to be a good stage for it.

"When my flesh

yearns for some

prohibited thing,

I must die."

{The Gospel Primer, 41}

Prohibited perhaps by conviction, perhaps because it's a sin. In my case,
*calling my time my own is prohibited
*being done with grad school is prohibited (not for always :)
*being undisciplined in eating or wasting time are prohibited

Sometimes it's hard to see the black-and-white in all of those but we must agree with what God says about them in order to die. Our attempt to die will be half-hearted at best unless we see it as God sees it.

No one actually has the right to call their time their own. God is our sovereign Lord who has the right and ability to change our plans whenever He desires...and His ways are always better than mine.

So every time I...
*have to say no to a fun weekend activity, I must die
*desire to spend just five more minutes on facebook or pinterest, I must die
*want to claim I have too much homework to stop and do those dishes, I must die

Death in any form is no fun. It's not easy. It's not pleasant. Vincent goes on to say that each of us must "embrace the cross" our own deaths. However God is calling me to die today, I must seize the opportunity.

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead."

{Philippians 3:8-11}

Responding to Pain

On this side of heaven, our vision will be dim. We do not have a blind faith—but only because our faith is in a sovereign, omnipotent God, not because we can see every step in front of us for miles (that wouldn’t actually be faith, after all). Sometimes our steps are confident, sometimes slow and painful. But whichever, God always goes before, protects from behind, strengthens from below, lifts from above. We are surrounded. We may not always feel His presence, but we can always know it is there, because that is a promise. “He has said, ’I will never leave you nor forsake you.’  So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?’” {Hebrews 13:5-6}

Life “lived by faith” {Galatians 2:20} is rarely easy. Maybe not so fun at times. But in the center can be found a haven of sweet peace and joy.

I’ve had life shatter before my eyes…a time or two. I’ve allowed some of those times to fling me at my Savior’s feet and cry out desperately for Him. Other times I’ve stubbornly clung to the idea that “I can do it myself.” In all those times, I experienced pain. In a few of those times, in the midst of the pain, I’ve experienced a precious Presence, a comforting peace, a joy beyond comprehension.

The heart of God is that one day pain and evil and all that goes with them will be dissolved. One day Jesus will wipe the tears from my eyes, and O what an experience that will be! But for now, God has a plan for the pain.

God is on a mission to draw people to Himself. He woos and waits… In His sovereignty that we can’t fully understand, He is in control of the outcome of each soul. Not everyone will come, but many will respond. And God doesn’t stop pursuing people once they’ve been saved. God pursues first for salvation and then for sanctification.

God is at work all around me, all around you…in me, and I pray in you as well. Sometimes that work involves pain. “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant” {Hebrews 12:11}. But there’s more to life than meets the eye, for the writer of Hebrews continues, “but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

Will Jesus find me faithful when He returns? Will He find you faithful? Are you, and am I, willing to be “trained” by the painful circumstances of life?

 

 

Sometimes God asks very difficult things.

Waiting.

    A “no.”

        To love where love is not returned.

            To turn the other cheek.

To take the next step with my eyes fixed on the One who goes before me, having no earthly clue what I am doing.

God is working, and as one song we sing occasionally says, “though there’s pain in the offering,” I want to be where He wants me to be, to be a part of His work. I want to be faithful. I want to live by faith…

“ Therefore, since we are surrounded

by so great a cloud of witnesses,

let us also lay aside every weight,

and sin which clings so closely,

and let us run with endurance

the race that is set before us,  

looking to Jesus,

the founder and perfecter of our faith,

who for the joy that was set

before him endured the cross,

despising the shame, and is seated

at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured from sinners

such hostility against himself,

 so that you may not grow

weary or fainthearted.”

{Hebrews 12:1-3}

::Thankful Because::

...It's Sunday! :)

 

I was glad when they said to me,

"Let us go to the house of the LORD!"

{Psalm 122:1}

::Thankful Still::

{So that no one will think that I'm not, in light of past posts...}

Thankful...

~for bosses who are friends

~for fellow employees to laugh with

~to be {still} a part of this restaurant that I've known for over seven years

~to look back and be assured that God knew what He was doing seven years ago to bring me here; and, this fall, in allowing me to stay here one day a week.

~It was nothing I had asked for...but everyting I had desired and needed.

 Now to him who is able to do

far more abundantly

than all that we ask or think,

according to the power at work within us,
to him be glory in the church and in

Christ Jesus throughout all generations,

forever and ever.

Amen.

{Ephesians 3:20-21}

 

 

 

 

::Thankful Some More::

On Monday, my twins each gave me a "Happy Thanksgiving hug" as they said bye-bye. Those are the kind of moments where nothing else matters! :)

It's a reminder to me...

It was about this time last year--October and November--that I was really struggling. God didn't seem to be doing anything.

Be gracious to me, O LORD,

for I am languishing; heal me, O LORD,

for my bones are troubled.
My soul also is greatly troubled.

But you, O LORD--how long?

{Psalm 6:2-3}

How long? It wasn't just about my occupation at the time--although, true, the prior months had held many of those "not-so-good-memories" times. There was a lot of things going on. But this one seemed the most obvious.

But even if God didn't seem to be doing anything, He was not silent.

Trust Me, He said. Love Me. Serve Me. Glorify Me. Delight in Me. Worship Me. Hold Me high above all else in your life--dreams, desires, plans, people, activities, ministries, expectations...

Do I still ask "how long" about some things? Yes.

But my two little Thanksgiving hugs remind me that time ends. Nothing in time is eternal. Even if something continues for the rest of earthly life, it's still not forever.

It also reminds me that someday a harvest of tears will be reap another bounty.

The LORD has done great things for us;

we are glad.
Restore our fortunes, O LORD,

like streams in the Negeb!
Those who sow in tears

shall reap with shouts of joy!
He who goes out weeping,

bearing the seed for sowing,

shall come home with

shouts of joy,

bringing his sheaves with him.

{Psalm 126 3-6}

So today I am thankful.
~Thankful for the four little arms encircling my neck.
~Thankful for the reminder those two cute little voices are.

The weeping is hard. Painful. But it is not forever; rather, it is "preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." {2 Corinthians 4:17}

::Thankful Again::

~Thankful for the relentless pursuit that is going on...regardless of what I do.

~Thankful that nothing, as a child of God, can separate me from the love of Christ.

~Thankful that within that pursuit is a call for another pursuit...me of Him.

I will never pursue so well, so faithfully, so wholeheartedly, but Lord willing, I will be in this pursuit for the rest of my life.

It is worth living for and dying for. It is worth sacrificing for and delighting in.

This my mind knows...
O Lord, let my heart know and experience it as well!

Seek the LORD and his strength;

seek his presence continually!

{Psalm 105:4}

 

::Thankful::

 

I am thankful...for I know that even if I had nothing else to be thankful for, there would still be one thing...

 

 

Though the fig tree should not blossom,

nor fruit be on the vines,

the produce of the olive fail

and the fields yield no food,

the flock be cut off from the fold

and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD;

I will take joy

in the God of my salvation.

 

{Habbakkuk 3:17-18}

 

 

 

And yes, I do have a lot of things to be thankful for. But all those things point to the One...

 



Great are the Works of the Lord!

I’ve worked at the same restaurant for 7 ½ years. Good years…with a little stress and some not-so-good memories; but overall, good years.

But I’ve always known I wasn’t going to work in a restaurant forever. Even in the beginning. I never had a job besides babysitting in high school. Once I graduated, I was on to the working world…so I thought. What I didn’t know was that it was going to be a whole year of apply and wait, pray and wait, trust and wait. That was a tough year…and then my dad and I were driving past a local franchise that had a “now hiring” sign out front. My dad noticed and I responded with a definite “not working in a restaurant.” Long story short, I ended up applying, getting my first interview of the year, and being offered a job. Not exactly my first choice, but I saw God leading and so in I went. I loved it from the start. My bosses. The other employees. The guests. Even creating ice cream sundaes. J

None of that’s changed, really. I’ve just always known it was temporary…and seven years sort of pushes temporary in my book. Well, even six did. But as I prayed about it last year, God gently said “not yet.” I wanted to dig down deep with people…not just the in-and-out that comes with guests and even employees—we go in spurts where turnover is high and then not so much. We have regular guests, sometimes known by name, sometime known by nick-names—the Straw Hat Man. The Coffee Lady—and when they stop coming, we don’t know why…they got tired of us? get sick? move away? In reality, nothing on earth is permanent, yet I desired more permanency than what I was able to get. And a more set schedule wouldn’t hurt, either.

After a summer of being okay where I was, enjoying the people around me, God suddenly said, “yes.” And slowly the doors began to open.

I get to call myself a nanny now and get to play and cuddle babies. J Twin girls who are nearly 2. A family with a 3 year-old, 2 year-old, and almost 1 year-old (!). Another almost 1-year old occasionally. Full days for the former, half a day for the other, afternoons here and there for the third.

And I still work one day a week at my restaurant. It’s the best of both worlds, actually. And I have Fridays off. J Such a big schedule difference has been a big adjustment. I’m still not completely used to it yet!

It’s been a reminder to me, in the midst of this crazy past month, that God is working behind the yes’s, wait’s, and no’s. God knows what is best, and when it is best. On the other side we might understand…but that definitely doesn’t make things easy on this end. God remembers we are human and need reminders now and then. On the days that do not seem so bright, I only have to look back a few months and remember that yes, God is working.

Great are the works of the LORD,
studied by all who delight in them.

{Psalm 111:2}

What the Gospel Means

The Gospel of Jesus Christ means a great many things. I've been dwelling on this particular thread of thought, especially in relation to blog posts, for the past few weeks. What does the Gospel mean to you? How is it manifested in your life?
 
Because...the Gospel should be my life. Jesus gave all for me...therefore, I am not my own.
 
Time, money, energy, pursuits, ministry, relationships, thought, actions, words--everything I am and have owes so much to the One who saved me.
 
The original context of this passage is very specific, but it stands true of all of life.

"Or do you not know that your body is a

temple of the Holy Spirit within you,

whom you have from God?

You are not your own,
for you were

bought with a price.

So glorify God in your body."  

{I Corinthians 6:19-20}

 

 

Too often I act like I am my own. May I daily remind myself that I am not!

 

Counting Blessings, Part 2

See Part 1 here

20. Sleep (naps!)! (Yes, that's a double exclamation point. Enough said. :)

21. Contrast from last week's craziness

22. Reminder to be humble

23. Excitement of diving into God's Word

24. Celebrating Jesus (awesome Sunday of worship, fellowship, and service)

25. A little scrapbooking! (I was um, listening to lectures, but I really can listen, take notes, and do something else as well. It actually does help me concentrate better--I've been glad to be able to throw in a little fun here and there that I normally don't have time for. :)

26. The ministry of Scripture

27. Christian fellowship comes in all ages :)

28. Delight of service

29. A sure and strong foundation

30. God's love and comfort always surrounds me!

How many blessings from June can you recall??

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,

for His steadfast love endures forever.
to Him who alone does great wonders,

for His steadfast love endures forever;
Give thanks to the God of heaven,

for His steadfast love endures forever.

{from Psalm 136}

"But God" ~ the answer to our need!

"But God shows his love for us in that

while we were still sinners,

Christ died for us."

{Romans 5:8}

"And such [see verse 12] 

were some of you.

But you were washed,

you were sanctified,

you were justified

in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ

and by the Spirit of our God."

{I Corinthians 6:11} 

God: My Portion

God is my portion.

I have been meditating on that lately...I knew it was somewhere in the Psalms, but was surprised at what a quick word-search revealed!

Many times it mentioned the "portion" of the wicked and ungodly--that is eternal punishment. I praise God that I am saved from that, and therefore, God is my portion.

Therefore Levi has no portion or inheritance with his brothers. The LORD is his inheritance, as the LORD your God said to him.)

{Deuteronomy 10:9}

The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.

{Psalm 16:5}

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

{Psalm 73:26}

The LORD is my portion; I promise to keep your words.

{Psalm 119:57}

I cry to you, O LORD; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living."

{Psalm 142:5}

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."

{Lamantations 3:22-24}

Jesus: "but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

{Luke 10:42}

Is God your portion? Do you let that change your life? God is all I need.

When life hurts, is hard, or whatever,

God is my portion!

God: Lord Over All

Why do the nations rage

and the peoples plot in vain?
The kings of the earth set themselves,

and the rulers take counsel together,

against the LORD and

against His Anointed, saying,
"Let us burst Their bonds apart

and cast away Their cords from us."
He who sits in the heavens laughs;

the Lord holds them in derision.

{Psalm 2:1-4}

God is LOVE

For while we were still weak,

at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
For one will scarcely die for a righteous person--

though perhaps for a good person

one would dare even to die--but

God shows His love

for us in that

while we were still sinners,

Christ died for us.

{Romans 5:6-8}

A Song of Praise

I am a child of God!

I will extol You, my God and King,

and bless Your name forever and ever.

My response can never be enough.

Every day I will bless You and

praise Your name forever and ever.

I stand in awe!

Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised,

and His greatness is unsearchable.

Do I share the big and little "God-things"?

One generation shall commend

Your works to another,

and shall declare Your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of Your majesty,

and on Your wondrous works, I will meditate.
They shall speak of the might of

Your awesome deeds, and I will

declare Your greatness.
They shall pour forth the fame of Your

abundant goodness and shall sing

aloud of Your righteousness.

When I see God working, am I thankful?

When I don't see Him working,

do I tell myself Truth?

The LORD is gracious and merciful,

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The LORD is good to all,

and His mercy is over all that He has made.

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

All Your works shall give thanks to You,

O LORD, and all Your saints shall bless You!
They shall speak of the glory of

Your kingdom and tell of Your power,
to make known to the children of man

Your mighty deeds, and the

glorious splendor of Your kingdom.

I am part of an eternal purpose!

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,

and Your dominion endures

throughout all generations.

(The LORD is faithful in all His words

and kind in all His works.)

Do I rest in God?

The LORD upholds all who are falling and

raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to You,

and You give them their food in due season.

Do I trust in God?

Am I letting Him change me?

Am I looking to Him?

You open Your hand;

You satisfy the desire of

every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all His ways

and kind in all His works.
The LORD is near to all who call on Him,

to all who call on Him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear Him;

He also hears their cry and saves them.

God's ways are just and holy and good.

The LORD preserves all who love Him,

but all the wicked He will destroy.

I can never testify enough!

My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD,

and let all flesh bless His holy name

forever and ever.

{Psalm 145}