::Thankful Yet Again::

Today is the start of Christmastime. Not that I haven't already been lstening to Christmas music...but today it's official, with the tree up and the decorations out. I know I've said it here before, but I love that Christmas is the beginning of the journey to Easter.

A new CD I've been listening to has the song "Mary's Boy Child" on it. This song has a fun, catchy tune, but I almost don't like to listen to it. Part of the chorus says, "Man can live forevermore because of Christmas Day." It's not because of Christmas Day, folks. "Man can live forevermore" because of Easter Morning. But it did all begin with a Baby in a manger...

I am thankful...

~for the Baby in a manger

~that the Baby grew up without sin, and ministered perfect among men

~that Jesus Christ died, and then rose again Easter Morning.

And I'm thankful it started with a Baby in a manger...because I love Christmas. :)

 

 

::Thankful Still::

{So that no one will think that I'm not, in light of past posts...}

Thankful...

~for bosses who are friends

~for fellow employees to laugh with

~to be {still} a part of this restaurant that I've known for over seven years

~to look back and be assured that God knew what He was doing seven years ago to bring me here; and, this fall, in allowing me to stay here one day a week.

~It was nothing I had asked for...but everyting I had desired and needed.

 Now to him who is able to do

far more abundantly

than all that we ask or think,

according to the power at work within us,
to him be glory in the church and in

Christ Jesus throughout all generations,

forever and ever.

Amen.

{Ephesians 3:20-21}

 

 

 

 

::Thankful Some More::

On Monday, my twins each gave me a "Happy Thanksgiving hug" as they said bye-bye. Those are the kind of moments where nothing else matters! :)

It's a reminder to me...

It was about this time last year--October and November--that I was really struggling. God didn't seem to be doing anything.

Be gracious to me, O LORD,

for I am languishing; heal me, O LORD,

for my bones are troubled.
My soul also is greatly troubled.

But you, O LORD--how long?

{Psalm 6:2-3}

How long? It wasn't just about my occupation at the time--although, true, the prior months had held many of those "not-so-good-memories" times. There was a lot of things going on. But this one seemed the most obvious.

But even if God didn't seem to be doing anything, He was not silent.

Trust Me, He said. Love Me. Serve Me. Glorify Me. Delight in Me. Worship Me. Hold Me high above all else in your life--dreams, desires, plans, people, activities, ministries, expectations...

Do I still ask "how long" about some things? Yes.

But my two little Thanksgiving hugs remind me that time ends. Nothing in time is eternal. Even if something continues for the rest of earthly life, it's still not forever.

It also reminds me that someday a harvest of tears will be reap another bounty.

The LORD has done great things for us;

we are glad.
Restore our fortunes, O LORD,

like streams in the Negeb!
Those who sow in tears

shall reap with shouts of joy!
He who goes out weeping,

bearing the seed for sowing,

shall come home with

shouts of joy,

bringing his sheaves with him.

{Psalm 126 3-6}

So today I am thankful.
~Thankful for the four little arms encircling my neck.
~Thankful for the reminder those two cute little voices are.

The weeping is hard. Painful. But it is not forever; rather, it is "preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." {2 Corinthians 4:17}

::Thankful::

 

I am thankful...for I know that even if I had nothing else to be thankful for, there would still be one thing...

 

 

Though the fig tree should not blossom,

nor fruit be on the vines,

the produce of the olive fail

and the fields yield no food,

the flock be cut off from the fold

and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD;

I will take joy

in the God of my salvation.

 

{Habbakkuk 3:17-18}

 

 

 

And yes, I do have a lot of things to be thankful for. But all those things point to the One...

 



Great are the Works of the Lord!

I’ve worked at the same restaurant for 7 ½ years. Good years…with a little stress and some not-so-good memories; but overall, good years.

But I’ve always known I wasn’t going to work in a restaurant forever. Even in the beginning. I never had a job besides babysitting in high school. Once I graduated, I was on to the working world…so I thought. What I didn’t know was that it was going to be a whole year of apply and wait, pray and wait, trust and wait. That was a tough year…and then my dad and I were driving past a local franchise that had a “now hiring” sign out front. My dad noticed and I responded with a definite “not working in a restaurant.” Long story short, I ended up applying, getting my first interview of the year, and being offered a job. Not exactly my first choice, but I saw God leading and so in I went. I loved it from the start. My bosses. The other employees. The guests. Even creating ice cream sundaes. J

None of that’s changed, really. I’ve just always known it was temporary…and seven years sort of pushes temporary in my book. Well, even six did. But as I prayed about it last year, God gently said “not yet.” I wanted to dig down deep with people…not just the in-and-out that comes with guests and even employees—we go in spurts where turnover is high and then not so much. We have regular guests, sometimes known by name, sometime known by nick-names—the Straw Hat Man. The Coffee Lady—and when they stop coming, we don’t know why…they got tired of us? get sick? move away? In reality, nothing on earth is permanent, yet I desired more permanency than what I was able to get. And a more set schedule wouldn’t hurt, either.

After a summer of being okay where I was, enjoying the people around me, God suddenly said, “yes.” And slowly the doors began to open.

I get to call myself a nanny now and get to play and cuddle babies. J Twin girls who are nearly 2. A family with a 3 year-old, 2 year-old, and almost 1 year-old (!). Another almost 1-year old occasionally. Full days for the former, half a day for the other, afternoons here and there for the third.

And I still work one day a week at my restaurant. It’s the best of both worlds, actually. And I have Fridays off. J Such a big schedule difference has been a big adjustment. I’m still not completely used to it yet!

It’s been a reminder to me, in the midst of this crazy past month, that God is working behind the yes’s, wait’s, and no’s. God knows what is best, and when it is best. On the other side we might understand…but that definitely doesn’t make things easy on this end. God remembers we are human and need reminders now and then. On the days that do not seem so bright, I only have to look back a few months and remember that yes, God is working.

Great are the works of the LORD,
studied by all who delight in them.

{Psalm 111:2}

A Paper in Four Days: A Tale of God's Grace

So...that story of an "encouraging" note I promised? It's coming. :) God had other plans for me that week!

I woke up Monday morning and got online to double-check whether my research paper of 20+ pages was due on Friday or Saturday. I got the surprise of my life to find out it was due in 16 hours. I still haven't figured out why he would make the last assignment due on Monday when there was still 5 days of class left.
Whatever his reasoning...it caught me off guard. For the record, the due date was in two places; the one I happened to see was the least reliable. That's my life and grad school, let me tell you. ;)

The next four days were run on adrenaline...and God's grace, for sure. I quickly emailed my teacher, explained to him my life of the past few weeks (which for me has been grocery shopping and house cleaning while my parents endure doctors appointments and surgeries), explaining that I had gotten behind the week before due to aforementioned activities. That was the reason I had looked to see the exact due date of the paper, because I felt too behind to be done by Friday and was hoping for a due date on Saturday. (Ha!)

He emailed back, understanding and (though certainly not without still planning to dock me for being late), gave me permission to be late. I posted my predicament on facebook and gathered some prayer warriors...

And the next four days held 24 hours of work over all four days, 2 all-nighters, gathering a few last resources to make minimum count (I know this post is not making me sound very responsible...but I tell it because of how great God is!), and writing 18 pages. At 11 pm Thursday night, I was at my wit's end to write another word.

don't worry--that coffee lasted me the whole week :)
on the right from the top: Bible study breaks,
all-nighter inspiration,
pile of research books,
and of course who would have lasted without chocolate??

I decided to take a break and review the guidelines for the paper. In there I found the sweetest words I could read at the time: my already two-page bibliography counted as part of the word count. My paper now stood at 20 pages...and that's all I needed. I was done. As I posted on facebook shortly after this, after explaining the exciting end: " 'Nough said. Paper done. Class finished. Time for sleep!!!!" :)

God was incredibly good that week. We never deserve God's blessings, and doubly so in this case. While I wonder why my teacher would be so radically different and have a due date 5 days earlier than anyone else ever does, it was my fault for not finding the deadline earlier. I never plan well for papers in the first place and usually am pushing the deadlines anyway.

But the story isn't over. The results of this rushed paper? Basically the best grad paper I've written so far concerning the grade. When I first heard the news of the deadline, I despared of passing the class, let alone the paper. But's God's grace shines forth.

Sometimes I wonder if grad school is really what I should be doing. It's so difficult...I don't particularly enjoy it...sometimes I doubt that it really is beneficial. I may complain about this teacher or that assignment. I didn't ask for grad school. But God gave it to me.

I need to accept that there will be a disconnect between teacher/student when it comes to online classes. And that there are assignments I won't like or don't see the point of (as if undergrad on campus had no such issues...) And that it's a big deal to me, and have a lot harder time balancing life--family, work, church--with school, worse than I experienced with undergrad.

Sometimes difficulties might be roadblocks, but sometimes they are just hurdles God wants us to jump over and then keep running. So I'm running still. This is the second week of another 8-week semester. I've already began collecting my books for my next research paper--I firmly believe that to presume upon grace is not a good idea. :)

I remind myself often that diving deeper into God's Word is never a waste, that I do want to be prepared to minister and serve people in whatever capacity God chooses in the future. And when I stand on the other end, I will look back and be glad I did it as I see God's hand at work.

Maybe, perhaps, those deadlines and assignments and challenges and stresses are meant to draw me closer to the One who gave me this grad school assignment in the first place. So I'm still running...and yes, looking forward to that still in-the-distant-future day when the finish line appears!

this was my "pep talk" for the week!



Linked up with YLCF about education!

::Life::

A few weeks ago I said that sometimes life bleeds…sometimes it continues to bleed. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like it will stop.

We’ve been dealing with family stuff for awhile. Both my parents are dealing with rather big medical stuff. A friend moves. Ministry opportunities change and end. Schedules change. And there’s still school (J). And sometimes all that happens all at once.

But my God who rules and reigns knows every detail and has a plan for it all. I trust Him…but that’s a moment-by-moment decision. I let my guard down—and the thoughts wander and wonder. I’m excited for the other end of all this but in the mean time there is a long, rough journey to persevere.

As I was considering the theme for the month of October (which we are almost halfway into, can you believe it?), I decided there were so many directions I could go that this is going to be a theme-less blog month. A patchwork of posts—a variance of subjects that nevertheless point to the awesome God who saved me. Since I someday hope to make a quilt, I thought it would be enjoyable to play off that as a “theme.”

And since I lost all my pictures when my flash drive broke this summer…I have no fall pictures. I’ve definitely missed the many pictures that were only on that flash drive before now, but I feel it acutely now, since I was ready to post fallish pictures before the colors came out this year. And since we’re basically in a drought, there are no brilliant fall colors to capture this year. already for next year…

So take a peek into my pile of “leftovers” awaiting the someday-quilt…

 

 

Stay tuned for an encouraging update—Lord willing, next week. As difficult as adjusting to a new schedule can be, sometimes it is due to an answer to prayer. J

And pray for us, will you, as we go through all this? I want God to be glorified…and I know He will be, but I also personally want to be a channel for His glory. Whatever happens here has a greater purpose and I want to testify to that!

Of Quilts and Patchwork Pieces

Someday I will make a quilt.

It's a dream I have...along with several other artsy-things.

Perhaps a patchwork quilt that I can design myself--but probably just a 9-square to start with, right?

I've always loved quilts and imaging the stories behind them as I looked at those made in the 1800s that now hang in history museums. Sometimes the pieces fit together to tell a story themselves...but every woman who stitched those pieces also had a story!



my quilt my grandma made for me

I have yards of old clothes I couldn't totally get rid of and fabric "leftovers" from past projects ready and waiting.

Someday it shall happen. :)