Moments

Sometimes life changes in the blink of an eye, in a single moment. My last blog post was about Israel--and that seems a lifetime ago. Many good things and some not-so-fun things have happened since that trip.   

Several moments come to mind that changed so many things about this fall, this year. Work, school, ministry. And I am oh-so grateful that my God holds every single moment of my existence in His wise, loving hands. 

I remember a moment when I bow the knee of my heart to a holy God in amazement, humility, and even horror as I realize the depth of my sin...and the great God who bore the penalty of that sin. 

 

 

There is a moment when words can't even begin to express, but I am so grateful… 

*that He is faithful, even when I am not

*that He is loving, even when I am unlovable

*that He is compassionate, even when I am rebellious

*that He is my Friend, even when I'd rather have a different friend

*that He is my security, regardless of who else comes and goes

*that He is sovereign, even when things around me are constantly changing. 

In that moment, I realize Jesus is enough--and yet also there is a realization that this is not a "one size fits all" moment, but one that must be repeated over and over. 

Are there many days when I demand better situations, whether it be about work or school or relationships or ministry opportunities? 

Of course, yes. 

But in those moments I must preach myself the Truth: Jesus is enough. He is more than enough. He fulfills and completes. I must fix my gaze on what is "unseen," knowing that what is seen is transitory. What I have right now is not forever; I have the certain hope of that which is to come...that which is eternal and unchanging. I am spending eternity in heaven with Jesus!

::Heaven::

It never ceases to make me cry...

Frodo's speech: "I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee...here at the end of all things."

The Aragorn-Arwen reunion.

The ship sailing away.

And I couldn't help but compare it this time ~ as much as I love Tolkein's ending (movie version, in this case at least), I thought of the ending God has for this story of Real Life. The victory over sin and death and evil, already His, will be fully realized and He will gather His people home.

I think of Frodo's excitement and relief of leaving the Shire and "sailing away," ready to be rid of the ache of the Black Riders' wound. I think of the day when my wounds--physical and emotional--will be done with. I will be with Jesus, face to face, and there will be unending joy, unmarred by sin and death. I will not be sinned against nor will I commit sin against another person. I will never have to repent of my sin again, for the power and presence of sin will both be destroyed.

That is, indeed, a day to look forward to.

::2014::

2014.

The year of no routine.

The year of interruptions.

The year of watching my bank account (mostly diminish, haha).

The year of learning to trust even more...for situations, timing, and direction.

My work schedules have been crazy (thus no routine). I've dealt with sickness, allergies, and injuries (thus the interruptions). A multiple-thousands-of-dollars trip paid for in full, doctors appointments, saying yes to some activities and no to others (thus watching the bank account). I'm praying about ministry opportunities this summer and into the fall, about school set-backs, about the yet unanswered long-term requests, about waiting patiently and actively (thus still learning to trust).

God encouraged me this week with Psalm 118. I encourage you to follow the link and read the whole thing, but here are a few snippets:

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
    for His steadfast love endures forever!
I shall not die, but I shall live,
    and recount the deeds of the Lord.
The Lord has disciplined me severely,
    but He has not given me over to death.
Open to me the gates of righteousness,
    that I may enter through them
    and give thanks to the Lord.
This is the day that the Lord has made;
    let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Always there are many reasons to rejoice. As usual, a picture is worth a thousand words...

::The girls were excited to ride in my car with me a few times::

 

 

 

::Who wouldn't want to show Barney the elephants on the zoo cam?::

 

 

 

::As usual, mid-west weather is unpredictable; we've only just broken out the summer clothes, but my first week of school in March held a few wonderful days!::

 

 

 

::The First Day of Spring (third holiday in line after Easter and Christmas :) deserves to be celebrated! (Fellow employees and family all got to enjoy.)::

 

 

 

 

::Starting the love of reading early with Baby Girl (now 8 months old--time is flying by!)::

 

 

 

::Self-portraits are hard when there's three to consider, and two of them don't sit still::

 

 

 

::The teasing days of early Spring allow for activities outside!::

 

 

 

::Best Day of the Year: Easter!! So incredibly grateful for the empty tomb::

 

 

 

::Girls night out. Blessed by the friendships God has given!::

 

 

 

::The Injury: Broken Toe. Who knew one little pinky toe could cause so much trouble. Word of advice: never, ever, ever break your toe (or anything else, for that matter)::

 

 

 

::Forced sit-down day. Three weeks into the broken toe and not much improvement felt, and two days off in a row (unheard of), required movies and a to-do list involving sit-down activities. Evidently I had plenty to do. :) ::

 

 

 

::So, so blessed to be able to take care of these kiddos. {I try to avoid posting pictures of them since they're not mine, but cave every now-and-then and employ heavy watermarks. :) ::

 

Baby Girl and Big Brother, now 8mo and 2 1/2

 

The Twinsies, now 3yrs

 

Thirty Days

At the end of last month, I was talking about dreams. It was rather ironic, actually.

You see, four years ago, in the middle of my senior year at college as a Creative Writing major, God asked me to put my writing--fiction writing--on the back burner. I knew He hadn't completely taken it away, but even the indefinite setting aside was painful.

I've tampered with writing a few short stories over the last few Christmas breaks, but always heard the whisper, "not yet."

When I found out I would not be taking any classes this fall, I wondered what on earth to do with my time. It did not take me long to think of National Novel Writing Month--where a bunch of crazy people sign up to write a novel in one month with the only prize being a congratulations. That would be my sister's definition, anyway. For me, it was a challenge and a goal and accountability and just the chance to write.

And the most important thing--God said "yes, now."

NaNoWriMo is completely customizable, but in general the goal is 50,000 words in one busy month of November. (On the 20th, when I should have been well over halfway to 50,000, I think I had just 15,000.) This past week and a half was crunch time, and thankfully my schedule cleared. As often as possible, I tucked myself away in a booth at some coffee shop and wrote like crazy. I am thankful that the twins I nanny decided to have nice long naps for the whole month! Although, at my other nanny family, I more often than not typed with a sleeping baby in my arms during Big Brother's nap, afraid that if I put Little Sister down, she would wake up again and then I would get no writing done at all.

I wrote over half of my words in the last 10 days, but I did it. My file stands at 51,071 words. I've sent it in and been declared a NaNo "winner" (everyone's a winner above 50,000 words :)).

For the past few years, I've lived through November and thought "someday."

My someday came, and I praise God for that.

Sometimes God gives dreams back, and in His impeccable timing, makes them come true.



I stayed up past midnight to begin writing right away on November 1st.
(Somehow, staying up until 2am writing a novel is much more fun
than staying up until 2am doing homework. Go figure.)
After decorating for Christmas most of the morning, I set out to finish
a few thousand words. It was official at 5:11pm today!



1) November 1st ~ Ready to get started!!
2) top left and bottom right=Coffee shop views
3) Formerly mentioned sleeping baby...
4) November 30th ~ Heading home, feeling accomplished and grateful



Summer Recap

My summer began on May 11, the day after my two classes ended. The next 113 days were quite the adventure!

 

the garden that definitely was not a success
but not quite a failure either...there's always next year :)

 Church group studying Bonhoeffer's Life Together.

 

Church young adult group annual campout. Yes, tenting. :)

 

Participating in a second round of American Sign Language classes at church taught by our deaf members and interpreters.

 

Teaching 1st grade VBS.

 

 

Hosting a 6-week study through several chapters of Mary Kassian's Girls Gone Wise.

 

Jr. camp.

 

 

Surprise birthday parties.

 

 

Volleyball. Mini golf.  Friends. Family.

 

Iced coffee.

 

An action game (i.e. no words necessary) with a group of Brazilian Christians passing through.

 

I've "unofficially-officially" said goodbye to my job of 8 years.

 

Saying goodbye to a friend moving to teach overseas for a year.

 

A friend got married.

 

A couple of friends had babies. (Actually, one was not just a friend--the baby is my future nanny-child. My little guy is now a big brother!)

 

Nannying. (Walks, going to the park, playing with chalk and bubbles, water play…)

playing with bubbles :)

 

Reading. Lots of reading.

 

My summer has been full. There were a lot of "My grace is sufficient for you" moments.  I saw many praises and prayed many prayers. It was not an easy summer, or even a particularly relaxing one on the whole...but it was good. I am grateful.

 

And yet, with the temperatures spiking this past week and next, and all the pumpkin recipes appearing on Pinterest (and I'm actually getting tired of making iced coffee and am ready for the hot stuff again)--I say bring on the fall. :)

 

 

The Simple Joys

 

 

 

::Spying on the neighbors :) ::

 

 

::Walking around

one-sock-on-one-sock-off, of course::

 

::My girls and my little boy

love to read. So do I!::

 

 

::Going for a walk with Baby Doll::

 

 

Four days a week I am reminded

of how blessed I am.

I am blessed everyday, but I love how children

are constant reminders of that fact.

 

Giggles. Wonder. Babble. New words. Cuddles.

Even cranky cries and time-outs are reminders

of what an awesome God we have, and how

He daily interacts with our lives.

 

He is not a God far off, and He daily delights

to give His children good things!

Sometimes I Don't Have Words...

 

And a picture is worth a thousand of them, anyway!

 

 

::

 

My View

 

 

(my "school room/office" is in the basement)

 

::

 

My church has an outdoor Christmas program,

open to the public, that is performed 4 days in a row.

 

 

I was a 5-layer Bethlehemite. ;)

Yes, that is all one night's worth of clothes!

 

::

 

Making Christmas fudge for gift-giving

 

 

means we get the left-overs :)

 

::

 

Merry Christmas to all!

 



Of Quilts and Patchwork Pieces

Someday I will make a quilt.

It's a dream I have...along with several other artsy-things.

Perhaps a patchwork quilt that I can design myself--but probably just a 9-square to start with, right?

I've always loved quilts and imaging the stories behind them as I looked at those made in the 1800s that now hang in history museums. Sometimes the pieces fit together to tell a story themselves...but every woman who stitched those pieces also had a story!



my quilt my grandma made for me

I have yards of old clothes I couldn't totally get rid of and fabric "leftovers" from past projects ready and waiting.

Someday it shall happen. :)

Labor Day Weekend: 4pm

 

With a little background music...

 

 

 

a tie-dyed apron compliments of jr. camp :) ...

 

 

 

newly discovered pinterest recipes...

 

 

 

* Peanut Butter-Chocolate Fudge

* Hot Fudge Sauce 

* Salted Caramel Sauce

* Homemade Ice Cream

{not all were pinterest recipes by the way,

in case you go searching for them ;) }

 

No pictures of the end results...

be assured they were enjoyed. :)

 



Enjoyment: August 20, 8pm

Pretzels. It's hard to make pretzels actually look like real pretzels. So when I saw the pretzel maker...and found myself with kohls cash... I caved in and bought one. On the other end of making them, I'm so glad I did. :)

*homemade pretzel*

Because a Girl Can Dream...

(and because really good deals are

hard to pass up sometimes...

and because they arrived on my birthday...

okay, that last one wasn't planned ;) )

*for now, for the hope chest...

 maybe someday for real :)

Enjoyment: July 18, 11a.m.

(even if it was while I read some homework

and 100-something degrees

and the day before my actual birthday)

* birthday frappuccino *

Suddenly...

My wardrobe is BLUE.

Must be {almost} junior camp time!

We're getting just a little excited around here. :) I'm going out shopping next week with my co-counselor for room decorations. This year's theme is "Western Expedition" and our particular cabin is the Rough Riders. Horses are every girl's dream, right? :)

Praying already for a good and godly week!!

Thirty-One

Thirty-one days. I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve actually posted—I just know that I didn’t post the entire month of May. That’s a lot of days, a lot of happenings, a lot of God-moments. This Spring in general I’ve fought to retain joy and hope…May was a hard month. My circumstances have not changed, and so I know the battle continues, but my spirit is renewed. God is working—so there is hope. The grass is never greener on the other side—so I can find joy in the now stuff, even as I pray for change in several areas. May, as the 6-month anniversary of Thanksgiving Month, was supposed to be the theme of gratefulness again. I guess God knew I needed to really struggle through that before blasting it on the web world. :) I have several half-started posts that lie scribbled here and there but  now I sit with a completed post. So here goes:

God-moments and Happenings

1. God leads the way—I can trust His guidance.

      2. A brother graduates.

No, this wasn't for my brother. :)
It was a big graduation year!


3. God gives such undeserved blessings.

      4. An 1800-mile round trip is completed within 70 hours (graduations and work schedules are hard to correlate :).

5. God shows Himself in many small ways that in the grand scheme of things are relatively unimportant yet matter to me.

      6. A garden is planted!


7. God is still God of the impossible!

      8. A hair-cut is received

  

before...

after!

9. God gently replies “press on and rest in Me” to cries of “How long?”

     10. A school session ends by seeing God’s grace.

11. God brings hope and joy—we have the responsibility to press on regardless of feelings, but in the end it is always God who gives peace.

     12. A paper is researched. In the car. With flashlight when needed. And it’s written the day after aforementioned trip is completed.

13. God works in hearts, healing and restoring.

     14. A holiday happens: Monday-Monday without any school or work.

15. God waits for “the fullness of time,” and for “such a time as this” in my life, too. I can look with hope to the future and rejoice in the now!

     16. A camping trip is enjoyed (my young adult group at church)—beautiful weather, a great sleeping spot (last year’s was a tad…bumpy…so I rejoice in God’s blessing of good sleep. :)

17. God refreshes the soul…and sometimes uses a staycation and a camping retreat to do it. :)

     18. A summer school session is started…and the first week logged in nearly 400 pages of reading and 5 hours of lectures among other things (wanna trade places?).

19. God is full of steadfast love and faithfulness!

     20. A walk to the park with a couple of Littles is enjoyed…it was a lovely morning with a 4- and 2-year old. :)

21. God gives great blessings of family and friends.

     22. A new phone is bought…and I’ve found out touchscreen isn’t so bad as long as one gets rid of the fingerprints every few seconds ;)

23. God is at work, sanctifying me for His glory!

     24. A joyride is performed…perhaps in connection with Free, er National Donut Day. “Free” and “donuts” and I’m there, even though the offerings were a few neighborhoods away. :)

25. God gives grace for the journey. 

     26. An era was closed—I began helping out with Truth Trackers at church a few years ago, and we’ve had relatively few kids move up. This year is quite the opposite as the majority of our kids will be promoted tomorrow. Sadness.

27. God speaks through His Word—I love the encouragement and rebuke of Psalms! And I need to get back into the habit of memorizing…

     28. A new resolve for exercise has begun…the busy days of school have tended to override that priority, but little by little I’m working to incorporate it back in. So far, so good. :)

29. God gives beauty—in creation, in the little things, in the joy of a relationship with Him!

     30. A summer (post-Memorial Day) has begun. Mostly school, a little bit of work (well, probably a lot of work), and some fun to look forward to at the end!
31. God is the same “yesterday, today, and forever” ~ I can marvel at His works of the past, submit with joy to the works of the present, and look forward to the works of the future!

That, in a not-so-small nutshell, was May. And now June has arrived, and I will rejoice in great things He has done!

I will give thanks to You,

O LORD, among the peoples;

I will sing praises to You

among the nations.
For Your steadfast love is great

above the heavens;

Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
Be exalted, O God,

above the heavens!

Let Your glory be over all the earth!

{Psalm 108:3-5}

Post-dated...

...because sometimes my Saturdays get busy, too. :)

Randomness from the last few weeks...

Sometimes there's this thing called fun and games.
Only sometimes.

*Enjoying a beautiful, early Spring.

*A paper discussing a philosophy of ministry.
*A paper on suffering in the New Testament.

*Unearthing joy-robbers and being amazed at what God does without those distractions in my life

*Floating through a "finals week" busy, a tad sleepless, and yet at peace...feeling the prayers of many who have said they'd pray for me.



During my all-nighter, this butterfly randomly
spent the night in my basement with me ;)

*Resting in Jesus and learning to die to self.

"Indeed, on the other side of each layer
of dying lie experiences of a life with God
that are far richer, far higher,
and far more intimate than anything
I would have otherwise known."

{Milton Vincent

A Gospel Primer}