::2014::

2014.

The year of no routine.

The year of interruptions.

The year of watching my bank account (mostly diminish, haha).

The year of learning to trust even more...for situations, timing, and direction.

My work schedules have been crazy (thus no routine). I've dealt with sickness, allergies, and injuries (thus the interruptions). A multiple-thousands-of-dollars trip paid for in full, doctors appointments, saying yes to some activities and no to others (thus watching the bank account). I'm praying about ministry opportunities this summer and into the fall, about school set-backs, about the yet unanswered long-term requests, about waiting patiently and actively (thus still learning to trust).

God encouraged me this week with Psalm 118. I encourage you to follow the link and read the whole thing, but here are a few snippets:

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
    for His steadfast love endures forever!
I shall not die, but I shall live,
    and recount the deeds of the Lord.
The Lord has disciplined me severely,
    but He has not given me over to death.
Open to me the gates of righteousness,
    that I may enter through them
    and give thanks to the Lord.
This is the day that the Lord has made;
    let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Always there are many reasons to rejoice. As usual, a picture is worth a thousand words...

::The girls were excited to ride in my car with me a few times::

 

 

 

::Who wouldn't want to show Barney the elephants on the zoo cam?::

 

 

 

::As usual, mid-west weather is unpredictable; we've only just broken out the summer clothes, but my first week of school in March held a few wonderful days!::

 

 

 

::The First Day of Spring (third holiday in line after Easter and Christmas :) deserves to be celebrated! (Fellow employees and family all got to enjoy.)::

 

 

 

 

::Starting the love of reading early with Baby Girl (now 8 months old--time is flying by!)::

 

 

 

::Self-portraits are hard when there's three to consider, and two of them don't sit still::

 

 

 

::The teasing days of early Spring allow for activities outside!::

 

 

 

::Best Day of the Year: Easter!! So incredibly grateful for the empty tomb::

 

 

 

::Girls night out. Blessed by the friendships God has given!::

 

 

 

::The Injury: Broken Toe. Who knew one little pinky toe could cause so much trouble. Word of advice: never, ever, ever break your toe (or anything else, for that matter)::

 

 

 

::Forced sit-down day. Three weeks into the broken toe and not much improvement felt, and two days off in a row (unheard of), required movies and a to-do list involving sit-down activities. Evidently I had plenty to do. :) ::

 

 

 

::So, so blessed to be able to take care of these kiddos. {I try to avoid posting pictures of them since they're not mine, but cave every now-and-then and employ heavy watermarks. :) ::

 

Baby Girl and Big Brother, now 8mo and 2 1/2

 

The Twinsies, now 3yrs

 

But I Don't Understand...

"I want to trust God...

But I don't understand

what He's doing."

--Adam Mitchell

from Courageous

Understanding isn't a prerequisite. The thing I've been contemplating lately is that we don't really trust people (deeply) whom we don't know.

So we must spend time with Jesus and know Him more and more!

A Prayer

"Thank You, my loving and sovereign God, that my failures and mistakes are part of the 'all things' You work together for good... I praise you that 'all things,' including these, can contribute to my spiritual growth and my experience of You...When my heart is overwhelmed, I'm more aware of my need to cry to You...to take refuge in You...to rely on You.

I rejoice that these things keep reminding me to depend on You with all my heart...that they prompt me to trust in Your love, Your forgiveness, Your power, Your sufficiency, Your ability to overrule, and Your transforming presence within me."

{from 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers}

Trusting...

Trusting.

Taking each moment one step at a time.

Pressing on.

Willing to wait.

Remaining steadfast in hope.

Not letting the moments pass by carelessly.

Living to the hilt where I am (as Jim Elliot would say).

Pursuing Christ.

Nothing glamerous...
Often difficult...

But "we do not lose."
{II Corinthians 4}


God is worthy of all trust. But my decision to trust Him is not a once-for-all: it is a moment-by-moment renewing of my mind, realigning of my will, and discipline of emotions.

God is good, and so I'm

Trusting.

Nothing is Too Hard

"My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty,

There's nothing my God cannot do."

Am I truly trusting?

Or worrying? Or ignoring?

Or just mouthing it when

my heart is far from it for real?

" 'Ah, Lord GOD!

It is You who have made

the heavens and the earth

by Your great power and

by Your outstretched arm!

Nothing is too hard for You.
You show steadfast love to thousands,

but You repay the guilt of fathers

to their children after them,

O great and mighty God,

whose name is the LORD of hosts,
great in counsel and mighty in deed,

whose eyes are open to

all the ways of the children of man,

rewarding each one according to his ways

and according to the fruit of his deeds.
You have shown signs and

wonders in the land of Egypt,

and to this day in Israel and

among all mankind,

and have made a name for Yourself,

as at this day.'

...
The word of the LORD came to Jeremiah:
'Behold, I am the LORD,

the God of all flesh.

Is anything too hard for me?' "

{Jeremiah 32}

No, nothing, Lord. 

I will trust. 

 

Learning to Trust

You may not have noticed my monthly themes I began a couple of months ago. Afterall, November is always "thankful month" and the wonder-amazement-awe theme of December was rather Christmas-y.

Nevertheless, I plan to have month themes for the next year or so, Lord willing.
January hasn't been so easy to decide on a theme for but I think I know what God has in mind...which I think is partly why I haven't posted yet this week.
(The other "partly" is because a week of no commitments and deadlines has been nice, and I've taken advantage of the beatiful weather to do more reading than computer work.)

God has been showing me my lack of trust and lack of faith. And God doesn't show us things just to entertain us. He expects me to change--by His grace.

I felt lost in the shuffle last year; my journal entries attest to that. I had to keep reminding myself that God has reasons for saying no to what seemed like "everything." He has reasons for delaying desires and plans. He has reasons for the "desert" times of life.

My first entry of 2011 mentioned 5 things that could/probably would happen and answers to prayer we were anticipating.

Of those 5, one (moving to Greenville) decidedly did not happen, and there are many reasons to be glad. Another (beginning grad school) decidedly did happen, and there are many reasons I'm not completely excited about that. :)

The other 3...they're all things I--and my family--have been praying about for years. I went into last year with the hope that those issues would be resolved and that those prayers would be answered.

I'm still praying about them, hoping for even a glimmer of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Trusting God means having hope even when there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Trusting God means having joy even our circumstances don't change.

Trusting God means having faith that He can do "impossible" things, that He can--and will--do "exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think."

Trusting God means having the strengh (relying on His grace and strength) to look at 2012 with hope and joy and faith...even though nothing has "changed."

Will this time next year see me rejoicing in the full answers of these 3 things? I pray so... but I'm praying more that I will rejoice in God and love Him more fully and be conformed to His image. Whatever it takes.

P.S. Even when we know we're on the right track, it's still nice to know others have thought the same thing. I was encouraged this afternoon by this post.