Reflection

A Look Behind :: 2014 ::

Thinking back on this last year, two major things come to mind—the depth of my own sin, and the greatness of God’s goodness in His blessings to His children. And I’m amazed that those two things can be in the same sentence!

The Biblical counseling conference in Lafayette, IN, in February was an awesome time of hanging out with people from my church I don’t normally hang out with as well as spending hours upon hours per day in God’s Word. Of course, you can’t really be in God’s Word 8 hours a day for a whole week and not come home utterly rebuked (that sin problem) and encouraged (the blessing)!

I finished out a grad class in May and long-story-short, was basically told that I now have enough credits to graduate and so all I needed to do was my internship. However, another long-story-short, I actually will be working on a research paper this spring semester to complete my grad school requirements, and I will do my own unofficial internship in Brazil next summer. These details have been in process for most of 2014 and although it’s not really coming out the way I’d planned, I’m glad to have a plan in place. J

I did indeed leave for Israel on June 7^th. Dream of a lifetime, people, believe me. It did not disappoint, and in fact, it far exceeded my expectations (expectations I had built for nearly 20 years, if you must know J). Again—as I sat in front of the symbol of what was one of Israel’s greatest sins and rebellion against God (the altar built by Jeroboam as the kingdom split), I was struck with the realization that this was me. The sin, the idols, the rebellion that was in my heart was just as horrendous as the sin Israel committed. But at the same time I despaired in my sin, the hope of Jesus Christ shone brightly. I am grateful for the cleansing He gives! How much of a blessing Israel was every single day, as we sat on the Mount of Beatitudes, as we sailed on the Sea of Galilee, as we walked the streets of Jerusalem over and over. I was overwhelmed as I stood in Caiaphas’ house, knowing Jesus was here 2000 years ago, suffering deep humility for my sin. I marveled as I stood looking at what could possibly be the Place of the Skull—where Jesus was crucified. I marveled as I looked into an empty tomb and knew that Jesus is alive!

The contrast of my sin to God’s blessings have continued in the months since…as I taught the 5 year olds in VBS, as I have coordinated the Good News Club (after school Bible program at a local elementary school) I began helping with last semester, as I have said more goodbyes than I ever dreamed I would this year, as I have met new friends and built up friendships, as I said goodbye to two dearly loved nanny children and said hello to six (!) new ones, as I have spent hours fundraising for my combined “internship”/church missions trip to Brazil, and as I spent hours in Journey to Judea, my church’s Christmas outreach.

Man is sinful—in ourselves, we are hopeless and lost. But praise God that although He is the Almighty, Holy, Righteous One, He humbled Himself and left the glories of heaven to become our Redeemer. Because of His shed blood on the cross, we have forgiveness! Because of the empty tomb, we have hope! How precious is this salvation…and what do I do with it every day? Am I grateful? Is Jesus my ultimate treasure? Does it affect all my decisions and thoughts and actions? Does it affect yours?

My heart still hurts in many areas. I still have years-old prayer requests that I’m praying. But I am learning to walk through life, radiant with joy that Jesus walks beside me and is working each detail of life for His glory and my good. And how can those two things live together in the same sentence? Praise God that they do!

 

 

A Look Ahead :: 2015 ::

Spring: Research paper writing…fun, fun! Another semester of Good News Club, Bible studies, children’s ministries.

Summer: Brazil! Plans are still in the works, but at this point I plan to spend time with three different families in the north of Brazil, ending with the family supported by my church (and where the missions trip will be). Right now it looks like I will be there all of June and July through August 11.

Fall/Winter: what I have dubbed “the great void.” After 10 years of post-secondary education is finished, and two once-in-a-lifetime trips accomplished (Israel and Brazil), I’m not sure what’s next. But as I said last year (and was right), things always have a way of coming up. J

A phrase that kept coming to mind this past year was “and underneath are the Everlasting Arms” from Deuteronomy 33:27. As I have learned to make God my Dwelling Place, He has indeed revealed that “underneath are the Everlasting Arms.”  I am incredibly grateful and look forward to 2015 in His care!

By the grace of God,
Laura

 

1. Grateful I get to do life with these girls. I’ve known them since they were 1 and can’t believe they just turned 4! 2, Performing at our Dinner Theatre fundraiser just a few weeks ago! 3, Summer selfie! 4. My co-counselors at jr. camp this year—I have always been so blessed! 5. Being a nanny is never dull J 6. Helping guide tours at our own Journey to Judea! 7. My little guy Henry before he moved 8. My youngest charge right now, Baby Brystol 9. Hiking in En Gedi (Dead Sea in the background) 10. I helped two different families paint inside their houses this summer 11. Teaching at Good News Club 12. Zoo with Henry and Annabelle! 13. My little Annabelle playing in her empty house before they moved 14. Oh yes, my broken toe…that was a fun 6 weeks, haha 15. First look at Jerusalem! 16. My friend Alison took a break from teaching in China! 17. I get entertained by many “shows” these days J 18. With a friend at a wedding 19. With Stephanie—exploring our first ruins in Israel! 20. Hello to Twin Set #2! 21. VBS 5-year-olds class 22. In front of a model of Jerusalem 23. In front of a stone similar to the one rolled in front of Jesus’ tomb 24. At the place that is possibly Calvary

 

Anticipation

My church has a church-wide Christmas outreach program every Christmas. We're in our fourth year, and it is greatly looked forward to by everyone! It is outside, stretching across our property as we tell in full costume the story of the Gospel, from Moses to the empty tomb. My part in past years have been nameless faces in the crowd of Bethlehem--nameless to the hundreds of visitors waling through the tours, but it's a fun job nevertheless. We make up our stories and work on our looms or sell our cloth...and roast potatoes in the fire and eat our granola bars in between groups who come through. :) I always look forward to it, even this year, remembering last year's single digit temperatures and occasional snow all four nights we were there last December. 

 

Garden of Gethesemene

 

I remember sitting next to the fire last year, trying to get warm in between the sparse groups, and telling myself of  our director's words: "Each part is important." I knew that each part of the story, whether Moses or Abraham or Isaiah or Mary and Joseph or the crowd in Bethlehem, is important. Each person plays a part in the grand scheme of God's story, in the real life of it back then, or the role play we do each year. In the literal freezing cold, it was hard to tell myself that, though. 

And then this year, I changed roles. Instead of playing a part on the trail, I helped guide tours through the story. Over the course of four nights, I went through 14 times. Fourteen times I listened to Moses explain the creation and fall of man. Fourteen times I watched Abraham willing to sacrifice his son Isaac. Fourteen times I listened to Isaiah prophesy that the Light was coming (one of my favorite parts!). Fourteen times Joseph knocked at the Inn and then turned to Mary: "Don't worry, Mary. God will provide--He always does." Fourteen times the angel announced Jesus' birth to the shepherds. Fourteen times I stood in front of a cross and heard proclaimed "it is finished!" And fourteen times I stood in front of an empty tomb as the cry rang out: "Jesus is alive!"  

 

sign on the door of the present-day tomb in Israel

 

It never got old. When I started out as a guide assistant on Thursday night, I had thought that by Sunday, the tours would seem long. My guide and I were the last ones out on Sunday, and right before the cross, I stopped to think, "Wow--we're almost done. It feels like we just started!" It never got old--in fact, it only got more exciting each night, each tour we took.  

 

in En Gedi, looking toward the Dead Sea

 

After Abraham, and before King David, and before Isaiah, we have what we dub the "pop-up kids"--children who run along the trail as the group is coming and call out, "He is coming!" There's another one right before the stable who announces softly, "He is here! The Messiah is here!" 

And then--even that fourteenth tour late on Sunday night--I eagerly awaited the last "pop-up kid."

 

"He is coming again!" he announced. "He is coming again!" 

You see, the story's not really over yet. 

The whole Old Testament holds the anticipation of the Jewish people awaiting their Messiah. He came mostly unnoticed, lived a sinless life, and was killed at the hands of the jealous religious leaders. He arose three days later, and the book of Acts tells the story of thousands who recognized that Jesus is the Messiah. 

Jesus is my Savior, too--and I hope He is yours, also. But the anticipation of His coming still lingers--His second coming.  

Fourteen times on the trail in four days, and I never lost that anticipation. I found new purpose in the roles of past years--that crowd in Bethlehem holds that anticipation--and even as I know them as my friends I say hi to every Sunday, there's almost this thought that "I hope they understand the Messiah's been born!" :) The crowd carries anticipation. It helps build the anticipation that each tour has as it goes through, just as each station does from Moses on through the end.  

 

Gordon's Calvary,
one of the possibilities of the actual site

 

In "the fullness of time," Jesus came. But our story is that we still anticipate an event in the future. Our salvation has come, but it is not fully realized. Evil still exists, pain still happens, tears still fall. Just as God promised to send the Messiah, He promises to conquer evil and pain and tears once for all--and we are still waiting for the fulfillment of that promise. His promise holds true...and may God increase our anticipation of that future fulfillment! 

Merry Christmas--and even so, come quickly, Lord Jesus!

 

 

 

Moments, part 4

Some nanny moments are funny.

~First day back with the twins after getting back from Israel:
R: did you see Jesus?
Me: Well, Jesus is in heaven. I just saw where He lived when He was on earth J

~Afternoon with a 2-year old:
H: (picking up his toy phone)—Daddy at work. Call Daddy. Hi! [Lots of gibberish.] Still here with Laura. Ok. Bye.

 

~After telling the twins that people in Japan eat bugs for a snack the week before, we were walking home right before snack time...

Me: did you girls decide what we should have for snack?

R: um...I think we should have...grasshoppers!

~Name variations for Laura…
“Laurla!”
“Miss Yaurya”
“Waurwa” and the shortened version, “Wa.”

 

"doing my hair"

Some are precious.

~A: I want to play with you!

~A: Can we do it tomorrow?
Me: I actually won’t be here tomorrow. Grammy will be here.
A: Oh. I’ll miss you!

 

 

 

Some are convicting.

The time when one of the twins was not taking turns very well, and I got a little annoyed. “A, you need to take turns. Please be patient.” Just a little annoyed—barely. But she caught it. And although she was sad, it took me awhile to admit that I should apologize for it. But finally…“I’m sorry I wasn’t being patient as I was asking you to be patient.” Admitting that I shouldn’t have reacted that way, as slight as it was, was hard. Being a little annoyed is a sin? Yes.

 

 

 

Some are hard.

That moment as I rocked Baby Girl to sleep for the last time, when I started to lay her down in her crib and hesitated, and finally with tears I at last let go and walked out of the room. 

The moment when the confused and haunting eyes of 2 1/2 year old Big Brother looked at me and said, "I want to see you tomorrow." In that moment, there was no answer, as I knew that "tomorrow" would find him in a car all day moving out of state.

Letting go. Job searching. The last four months have been a journey that I never thought I’d be taking (and knew for less than 2 weeks before it actually happened!). I miss being “Wa.” I miss the wagon rides. I miss a lot of things. I miss them. 

 

playing at the park that last night...

 

Some are surprising.

Six new nanny children this fall—and all of them fell in love with me immediately. I can’t usually be accused of being a people magnet! (Oh, except daughter #2 in family #1 who apparently doesn’t take to many people…and I have since figured out to be in her good graces. I know how to bribe when certain occasions call for it. J) The opportunity to cuddle babies. Good times with little friends. Opportunities to share Gospel truths with little people. 

 

those pigtails!! :)

 

In all moments are the Everlasting Arms. They never leave me, and always hold me up. They give grace for the letting go, for the patience, in the conviction and in the laughter. 

In the midst of this crazy fall schedule, I have been incredibly grateful for the Friend who never leaves me, the Savior who kindly convicts, the Father who gives laughter. 

I am grateful I get to nanny—children are such a blessing. Humbling, sometimes…but even that is a blessing in the long run. J I have 8 blessings I see every week, not to mention a handful of others that occasionally pop up. Not exactly the simple nanny life of before, but nevertheless still proof of the Everlasting Arms.

 

Moments, part 3

That moment when I'm sitting in a missions trip meeting and realize that I'm going to help execute a fundraiser in one week.

That moment when I realized that I just returned from a life-long dream trip to Israel and now I'm baking cookies for my Brazil trip fundraiser.

That is a moment of wonder, of feeling so blessed that I felt  like I might explode. A moment when I stood in awe of God for His care for a little girl's dream of Israel, and a high school girl's dream of Brazil (and a college girl's desire to be done with grad school!!).

A moment when I'm thankful that, for all the time God allowed me to struggle in the dark, He gave clear, tangible proof of His goodness and compassion and faithfulness--and undeniable love for His children. How kind is my Heavenly Father!

 

 

Some days are long. Many days are far from easy. And sometimes I have to search for the evidence of His work around me. But honestly...when did God ever call us to live passive lives? We are called to seek after wisdom (Proverbs 2:1-5, Proverbs 4:7). Jesus commands us to seek first His kingdom (Matthew 6:33). We are to be seeking after God (Hebrews 11:6, and how many times were the Israelites reminded to seek God?). Peter reminds us to seek peace (1 Peter 3:11). That's not the end of the list--but get the idea? Thanks to the Fall, life is not a walk in the park. One day, we will regain what Adam and Eve lost in the garden--the fellowship of literally walking with God.

"Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. … Behold, I am making all things new" (Revelation 21:3, 5). This is my hope. Praise God the dark days are not forever (no matter what our feelings tell us at times!), and we don't even have to live for those "might explode" kind of awesome moments. Those moments are great. But honestly, a lot of tough moments have happened since that missions trips meeting. Israel was a long time ago, it seems like.

Moments come and moments go. But my God is sure and steadfast, and never changes. I have always loved James 5:13, because it reminds me that God walks beside me no matter what.

"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise."

We don't walk through life alone, and my heart clings to that. And one day, that will be fully realized in the physical presence of God--and my heart really clings to that!

So yes, I'm grateful that in a quick turn of events, the only thing left to have grad school accomplished is my internship next summer. I'm grateful that it is working out to coincide with my church young adult group missions trip to the same place (I'll just be there longer). I'm grateful Israel happened.

And I'm grateful of the reminders that while God was answering these "smaller" requests, He is still working on the "bigger" requests in my life that are still unanswered.

Seek the Giver more than the gifts. He does indeed give incredible gifts...but His greatest gift is Himself. Follow hard after Him.

 

p.s. Please know that I'm preaching as much to myself than anyone else, if not more so! :)

Moments...part 2

I remember the moment my grad school emailed me and said I have enough credits to graduate, and even though they're not the right credits (the specific classes I had left), the school will count them toward graduation. 

It was a moment when I realized I was done with lecture classes. The moment when I realized the only thing left was my overseas internship! 

It was a moment of looking back at the struggle of the past three years--and feeling oh-so-convicted yet held in a loving embrace. It was a moment when my cry of "how long, O Lord" turned to "woe is me, for I have unclean lips." Unclean heart, unclean thoughts, unclean motives, unclean everything.  

And yet...I stand totally cleansed. Sanctified, and yet still being sanctified. Oh, the tension of a being a sinner-saved-by-grace, awaiting the hope of heaven, and yet pursuing my Savior while in this body of flesh. 

 

 

I can still remember the shock of receiving that email back in May. I had bemoaned the fact that there were no classes for me to take again this fall, and decided to email them and ask if they had any sort of idea when I might graduate. Knowing would help...even if it still was going to be a couple years down the road. Who stands at the end of three years of grad school, still not having a clue as to when they'll graduate?? 

I didn't expect sympathy. Or compassion. Or "well, hey, if we just look at the number of credits, you're basically done. So we'll count you basically done." I went from not even a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel to practically being blinded by the light--all in one quick email. 

When God says "enough is enough"...it is over. Done with. 

My awe grew with every reading of that email. Believe me, I didn't read it just once and fully understand what he told me. It was too good to be true...and yet it was. It is.  

In this moment, I stand thankful for God's grace and mercy. For His timing. For His care and compassion for His children. 

I also am attempting to save for and plan this internship. Neither being an easy task at this point...but God has so wondrously proven His faithfulness, has He not? I can expect no less for the future! 

"Incline Your ear, O Lord, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.

Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to You do I cry all the time.

Gladden the soul of Your servant,

For to You, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.

Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer;

Listen to my plea for grace.

I give thanks to You, O Lord my God,

With my whole heart,

And I will glorify Your name forever.

For great is Your steadfast love toward me…"

~Psalm 86~

Moments

Sometimes life changes in the blink of an eye, in a single moment. My last blog post was about Israel--and that seems a lifetime ago. Many good things and some not-so-fun things have happened since that trip.   

Several moments come to mind that changed so many things about this fall, this year. Work, school, ministry. And I am oh-so grateful that my God holds every single moment of my existence in His wise, loving hands. 

I remember a moment when I bow the knee of my heart to a holy God in amazement, humility, and even horror as I realize the depth of my sin...and the great God who bore the penalty of that sin. 

 

 

There is a moment when words can't even begin to express, but I am so grateful… 

*that He is faithful, even when I am not

*that He is loving, even when I am unlovable

*that He is compassionate, even when I am rebellious

*that He is my Friend, even when I'd rather have a different friend

*that He is my security, regardless of who else comes and goes

*that He is sovereign, even when things around me are constantly changing. 

In that moment, I realize Jesus is enough--and yet also there is a realization that this is not a "one size fits all" moment, but one that must be repeated over and over. 

Are there many days when I demand better situations, whether it be about work or school or relationships or ministry opportunities? 

Of course, yes. 

But in those moments I must preach myself the Truth: Jesus is enough. He is more than enough. He fulfills and completes. I must fix my gaze on what is "unseen," knowing that what is seen is transitory. What I have right now is not forever; I have the certain hope of that which is to come...that which is eternal and unchanging. I am spending eternity in heaven with Jesus!

Israel

A little seed was born in me the year that I corresponded with a former Sunday school when he studied abroad in Israel—I would have been 8 or 9 or 10…somewhere around there.  I don’t remember much, only that he sent me a bookmark and a tiny paper flag and a small wooden Jerusalem bell. What I do know is that I’ve “always” wanted to go to Israel, and as I walked Israeli streets earlier this month, I thought of Mr. Brown and realized that my “always” probably went back to his patience and generosity with an elementary-aged student.

That, my friends, was about 20 years ago.

Twenty years of dreaming—and in 11 days it began and ended. Eleven days that I would repeat in a heartbeat. Eleven days I don’t think I’ll ever quite get over…as if I want to.

Going to Israel was a blessing…it was relaxing.

Just hours on Israeli soil, and this is the view from our hotel.

 

It was refreshing.

Oasis in En Gedi--the home of so many Psalms.
This, Day 6, was the toughest physically...so, so worth it.

 

It was fun.

Camel riding...not for the fainthearted. ;) At least the mounting part.
Have you ever seen a camel go from sitting to standing??

 

It was convicting.

Our Pastor teaching in front of the high place in Dan, where Jereboam set it up after the Kingdom split. It was not a "little altar to come to when you wanted"--that steel frame is a representation of how huge that altar actually was. Without the trees back then, all the Northern Kingdom would have seen that thing for miles. It was ugly, rebellious, sinful idolatry. Sin--idolatry--is not just a little thing. God hates it...I wish I really hated it to. I have a good visual in my mind now that reminds me to hate sin!

 

It did not disappoint in any aspect—and don’t ask me what my favorite part was, because I can only say, “Well, I have a Top 20…”

Of course, the sunsets/sunrises over bodies of water. Can't. Get. Enough.

Mediterranean Sea--our first night in Israel

The Sea of Galilee

Sunrise over the Dead Sea--as a runner-want-to-be, I went running once (not a particularly great idea if you haven't run since you broke your toe 2 months ago...but I lived to tell the story, obviously. :) )

In front of my first ruins, in Caesarea Maritima (Caesarea-by-the-Sea). We saw the ruins of where Paul was possibly kept during his time in prison (last 2 years of Acts).

 

If my life depended on it, I could say my favorite was the Mount of Beattitudes. It was the first time it really hit me that "I'm walking where Jesus walked!" So beautiful on top of that mountain, overlooking the Sea of Galilee, and after our Pastor taught from a little of the Sermon on the Mount, we had time to read by ourselves!

 

My excitement was for the Biblical significance of the sites, but every once-in-a-while (perhaps more often than that!), the history-lover in me got excited, too.

In Beth Shan, in front of a Roman Bath!

 

We visited Masada, a fortress built on top of that mountain behind me. Its significance is mostly historically around the fall of Jerusalem, and it was a fascinating place. We hiked down, rather than take the cable car that took us up there. So. Many. Steps.

 

En Gedi again. I was reading David's psalms in my Bible reading at this time--so incredible to think of him in this place, hounded by pursuing enemies, yet covered by God's protection and resting in His goodness!

 

And we're on to Jerusalem. Totally fell in love with the people and the place!

"Brothers, my heart's desire and prayer to God for them [Israel] is that they may be saved." --Romans 10:1 

 

I loved going to Caiaphas' house...so humbling to think what went on there the night Jesus was arrested. He loved God, and He loved me, enough to endure all of it.

 

 

And of course, one of the main highlights...Gordon's Calvary (Golgotha) and the Garden Tomb. "Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, ...He was buried...He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures." --1 Corinthians 15:3-4.

One of three possible sights, but this "place of the skull" is what a lot of conservatives think is the actual site.

In front of an actual-size rolling stone. The "large stone" in the Gospels would have been just a little bigger than this one!

 

There are so many different "sites" at the Temple Mount! This time I'm standing on the southern steps that Solomon built!

 

On the way home...enjoying free coffee due to a delayed flight, and finishing up the Psalms of David.

 

So, so blessed to have been able to go. I have a greater appreciation and understanding of the geography, of the word pictures Jesus used as He taught, of the burden the people carry for rejecting the Messiah.

If you ever have the opportunity to go, GO.  You will never read your Bible the same. You will never be the same.

 

::Heaven::

It never ceases to make me cry...

Frodo's speech: "I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee...here at the end of all things."

The Aragorn-Arwen reunion.

The ship sailing away.

And I couldn't help but compare it this time ~ as much as I love Tolkein's ending (movie version, in this case at least), I thought of the ending God has for this story of Real Life. The victory over sin and death and evil, already His, will be fully realized and He will gather His people home.

I think of Frodo's excitement and relief of leaving the Shire and "sailing away," ready to be rid of the ache of the Black Riders' wound. I think of the day when my wounds--physical and emotional--will be done with. I will be with Jesus, face to face, and there will be unending joy, unmarred by sin and death. I will not be sinned against nor will I commit sin against another person. I will never have to repent of my sin again, for the power and presence of sin will both be destroyed.

That is, indeed, a day to look forward to.

::2014::

2014.

The year of no routine.

The year of interruptions.

The year of watching my bank account (mostly diminish, haha).

The year of learning to trust even more...for situations, timing, and direction.

My work schedules have been crazy (thus no routine). I've dealt with sickness, allergies, and injuries (thus the interruptions). A multiple-thousands-of-dollars trip paid for in full, doctors appointments, saying yes to some activities and no to others (thus watching the bank account). I'm praying about ministry opportunities this summer and into the fall, about school set-backs, about the yet unanswered long-term requests, about waiting patiently and actively (thus still learning to trust).

God encouraged me this week with Psalm 118. I encourage you to follow the link and read the whole thing, but here are a few snippets:

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
    for His steadfast love endures forever!
I shall not die, but I shall live,
    and recount the deeds of the Lord.
The Lord has disciplined me severely,
    but He has not given me over to death.
Open to me the gates of righteousness,
    that I may enter through them
    and give thanks to the Lord.
This is the day that the Lord has made;
    let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Always there are many reasons to rejoice. As usual, a picture is worth a thousand words...

::The girls were excited to ride in my car with me a few times::

 

 

 

::Who wouldn't want to show Barney the elephants on the zoo cam?::

 

 

 

::As usual, mid-west weather is unpredictable; we've only just broken out the summer clothes, but my first week of school in March held a few wonderful days!::

 

 

 

::The First Day of Spring (third holiday in line after Easter and Christmas :) deserves to be celebrated! (Fellow employees and family all got to enjoy.)::

 

 

 

 

::Starting the love of reading early with Baby Girl (now 8 months old--time is flying by!)::

 

 

 

::Self-portraits are hard when there's three to consider, and two of them don't sit still::

 

 

 

::The teasing days of early Spring allow for activities outside!::

 

 

 

::Best Day of the Year: Easter!! So incredibly grateful for the empty tomb::

 

 

 

::Girls night out. Blessed by the friendships God has given!::

 

 

 

::The Injury: Broken Toe. Who knew one little pinky toe could cause so much trouble. Word of advice: never, ever, ever break your toe (or anything else, for that matter)::

 

 

 

::Forced sit-down day. Three weeks into the broken toe and not much improvement felt, and two days off in a row (unheard of), required movies and a to-do list involving sit-down activities. Evidently I had plenty to do. :) ::

 

 

 

::So, so blessed to be able to take care of these kiddos. {I try to avoid posting pictures of them since they're not mine, but cave every now-and-then and employ heavy watermarks. :) ::

 

Baby Girl and Big Brother, now 8mo and 2 1/2

 

The Twinsies, now 3yrs

 

::Redemption::

Redemption.

I love Easter. Because of Easter, my life is changed. I am now heaven-bound, graciously forgiven, amazingly loved, saved for eternity. I am redeemed. I, who once was an enemy of God, am now a friend of God. When I was an unlovable, wretched sinner, Christ redeemed me. I am redeemed...I am a friend of God...and more than that, I am a child of God. I have been adopted with full inheritance rights!

One year, a difficult situation came up around Easter time, and I was not happy. This is supposed to be a glorious, "hallelujah" time. I should not have to deal with this.

The conviction was quick and pointed.

"What is Easter all about, Laura?"

Oh.

During Easter weekend, the Sovereign Ruler submitted Himself to the hands of His creation. The Perfect One hung between two wretched and convicted sinners. He looked with eyes of love upon those who mocked and betrayed Him.

The One who secured my eternal presence with God was separated from Him for a time. The One against whom all rebellion occurs bore my sin.

Easter is about God reconciling sinful, rebellious mankind to Himself. Easter is God graciously loving those who spit in His face. Easter is God pulling hard-hearted sinners from a miry pit with no other way out.

Because of Easter--because I have bowed in repentance of the sin that put Jesus on that cross, because I have accepted and admitted the fact that I am helpless and hopeless part from Christ's work, because I know I need a Savior and cried out for His salvation--because of Easter, I have a new heart. While I live in this body of flesh, I will still struggle. My flesh--my sin nature--will still often win. But I am no longer bound to sin, buried in that miry pit.

Because of Easter, I, too, can graciously pour love into those who have been anything but kind to me. I can live out the story of Easter to those who do not appreciate the fact that I am doing so.

Have you been redeemed? If so, what does it mean to you? Is it just a ticket to heaven? Does it just mean a friend to pray to or comfort for the asking?

Or does it mean a transformed heart and Spirit-empowered strength to live a life that honors, pleases, and glorifies God? A life that "walks worthy" is not easy...but O! the blessings that are being stored up!