Reflection

A Look Behind :: 2014 ::

Thinking back on this last year, two major things come to mind—the depth of my own sin, and the greatness of God’s goodness in His blessings to His children. And I’m amazed that those two things can be in the same sentence!

The Biblical counseling conference in Lafayette, IN, in February was an awesome time of hanging out with people from my church I don’t normally hang out with as well as spending hours upon hours per day in God’s Word. Of course, you can’t really be in God’s Word 8 hours a day for a whole week and not come home utterly rebuked (that sin problem) and encouraged (the blessing)!

I finished out a grad class in May and long-story-short, was basically told that I now have enough credits to graduate and so all I needed to do was my internship. However, another long-story-short, I actually will be working on a research paper this spring semester to complete my grad school requirements, and I will do my own unofficial internship in Brazil next summer. These details have been in process for most of 2014 and although it’s not really coming out the way I’d planned, I’m glad to have a plan in place. J

I did indeed leave for Israel on June 7^th. Dream of a lifetime, people, believe me. It did not disappoint, and in fact, it far exceeded my expectations (expectations I had built for nearly 20 years, if you must know J). Again—as I sat in front of the symbol of what was one of Israel’s greatest sins and rebellion against God (the altar built by Jeroboam as the kingdom split), I was struck with the realization that this was me. The sin, the idols, the rebellion that was in my heart was just as horrendous as the sin Israel committed. But at the same time I despaired in my sin, the hope of Jesus Christ shone brightly. I am grateful for the cleansing He gives! How much of a blessing Israel was every single day, as we sat on the Mount of Beatitudes, as we sailed on the Sea of Galilee, as we walked the streets of Jerusalem over and over. I was overwhelmed as I stood in Caiaphas’ house, knowing Jesus was here 2000 years ago, suffering deep humility for my sin. I marveled as I stood looking at what could possibly be the Place of the Skull—where Jesus was crucified. I marveled as I looked into an empty tomb and knew that Jesus is alive!

The contrast of my sin to God’s blessings have continued in the months since…as I taught the 5 year olds in VBS, as I have coordinated the Good News Club (after school Bible program at a local elementary school) I began helping with last semester, as I have said more goodbyes than I ever dreamed I would this year, as I have met new friends and built up friendships, as I said goodbye to two dearly loved nanny children and said hello to six (!) new ones, as I have spent hours fundraising for my combined “internship”/church missions trip to Brazil, and as I spent hours in Journey to Judea, my church’s Christmas outreach.

Man is sinful—in ourselves, we are hopeless and lost. But praise God that although He is the Almighty, Holy, Righteous One, He humbled Himself and left the glories of heaven to become our Redeemer. Because of His shed blood on the cross, we have forgiveness! Because of the empty tomb, we have hope! How precious is this salvation…and what do I do with it every day? Am I grateful? Is Jesus my ultimate treasure? Does it affect all my decisions and thoughts and actions? Does it affect yours?

My heart still hurts in many areas. I still have years-old prayer requests that I’m praying. But I am learning to walk through life, radiant with joy that Jesus walks beside me and is working each detail of life for His glory and my good. And how can those two things live together in the same sentence? Praise God that they do!

 

 

A Look Ahead :: 2015 ::

Spring: Research paper writing…fun, fun! Another semester of Good News Club, Bible studies, children’s ministries.

Summer: Brazil! Plans are still in the works, but at this point I plan to spend time with three different families in the north of Brazil, ending with the family supported by my church (and where the missions trip will be). Right now it looks like I will be there all of June and July through August 11.

Fall/Winter: what I have dubbed “the great void.” After 10 years of post-secondary education is finished, and two once-in-a-lifetime trips accomplished (Israel and Brazil), I’m not sure what’s next. But as I said last year (and was right), things always have a way of coming up. J

A phrase that kept coming to mind this past year was “and underneath are the Everlasting Arms” from Deuteronomy 33:27. As I have learned to make God my Dwelling Place, He has indeed revealed that “underneath are the Everlasting Arms.”  I am incredibly grateful and look forward to 2015 in His care!

By the grace of God,
Laura

 

1. Grateful I get to do life with these girls. I’ve known them since they were 1 and can’t believe they just turned 4! 2, Performing at our Dinner Theatre fundraiser just a few weeks ago! 3, Summer selfie! 4. My co-counselors at jr. camp this year—I have always been so blessed! 5. Being a nanny is never dull J 6. Helping guide tours at our own Journey to Judea! 7. My little guy Henry before he moved 8. My youngest charge right now, Baby Brystol 9. Hiking in En Gedi (Dead Sea in the background) 10. I helped two different families paint inside their houses this summer 11. Teaching at Good News Club 12. Zoo with Henry and Annabelle! 13. My little Annabelle playing in her empty house before they moved 14. Oh yes, my broken toe…that was a fun 6 weeks, haha 15. First look at Jerusalem! 16. My friend Alison took a break from teaching in China! 17. I get entertained by many “shows” these days J 18. With a friend at a wedding 19. With Stephanie—exploring our first ruins in Israel! 20. Hello to Twin Set #2! 21. VBS 5-year-olds class 22. In front of a model of Jerusalem 23. In front of a stone similar to the one rolled in front of Jesus’ tomb 24. At the place that is possibly Calvary

 

Anticipation

My church has a church-wide Christmas outreach program every Christmas. We're in our fourth year, and it is greatly looked forward to by everyone! It is outside, stretching across our property as we tell in full costume the story of the Gospel, from Moses to the empty tomb. My part in past years have been nameless faces in the crowd of Bethlehem--nameless to the hundreds of visitors waling through the tours, but it's a fun job nevertheless. We make up our stories and work on our looms or sell our cloth...and roast potatoes in the fire and eat our granola bars in between groups who come through. :) I always look forward to it, even this year, remembering last year's single digit temperatures and occasional snow all four nights we were there last December. 

 

Garden of Gethesemene

 

I remember sitting next to the fire last year, trying to get warm in between the sparse groups, and telling myself of  our director's words: "Each part is important." I knew that each part of the story, whether Moses or Abraham or Isaiah or Mary and Joseph or the crowd in Bethlehem, is important. Each person plays a part in the grand scheme of God's story, in the real life of it back then, or the role play we do each year. In the literal freezing cold, it was hard to tell myself that, though. 

And then this year, I changed roles. Instead of playing a part on the trail, I helped guide tours through the story. Over the course of four nights, I went through 14 times. Fourteen times I listened to Moses explain the creation and fall of man. Fourteen times I watched Abraham willing to sacrifice his son Isaac. Fourteen times I listened to Isaiah prophesy that the Light was coming (one of my favorite parts!). Fourteen times Joseph knocked at the Inn and then turned to Mary: "Don't worry, Mary. God will provide--He always does." Fourteen times the angel announced Jesus' birth to the shepherds. Fourteen times I stood in front of a cross and heard proclaimed "it is finished!" And fourteen times I stood in front of an empty tomb as the cry rang out: "Jesus is alive!"  

 

sign on the door of the present-day tomb in Israel

 

It never got old. When I started out as a guide assistant on Thursday night, I had thought that by Sunday, the tours would seem long. My guide and I were the last ones out on Sunday, and right before the cross, I stopped to think, "Wow--we're almost done. It feels like we just started!" It never got old--in fact, it only got more exciting each night, each tour we took.  

 

in En Gedi, looking toward the Dead Sea

 

After Abraham, and before King David, and before Isaiah, we have what we dub the "pop-up kids"--children who run along the trail as the group is coming and call out, "He is coming!" There's another one right before the stable who announces softly, "He is here! The Messiah is here!" 

And then--even that fourteenth tour late on Sunday night--I eagerly awaited the last "pop-up kid."

 

"He is coming again!" he announced. "He is coming again!" 

You see, the story's not really over yet. 

The whole Old Testament holds the anticipation of the Jewish people awaiting their Messiah. He came mostly unnoticed, lived a sinless life, and was killed at the hands of the jealous religious leaders. He arose three days later, and the book of Acts tells the story of thousands who recognized that Jesus is the Messiah. 

Jesus is my Savior, too--and I hope He is yours, also. But the anticipation of His coming still lingers--His second coming.  

Fourteen times on the trail in four days, and I never lost that anticipation. I found new purpose in the roles of past years--that crowd in Bethlehem holds that anticipation--and even as I know them as my friends I say hi to every Sunday, there's almost this thought that "I hope they understand the Messiah's been born!" :) The crowd carries anticipation. It helps build the anticipation that each tour has as it goes through, just as each station does from Moses on through the end.  

 

Gordon's Calvary,
one of the possibilities of the actual site

 

In "the fullness of time," Jesus came. But our story is that we still anticipate an event in the future. Our salvation has come, but it is not fully realized. Evil still exists, pain still happens, tears still fall. Just as God promised to send the Messiah, He promises to conquer evil and pain and tears once for all--and we are still waiting for the fulfillment of that promise. His promise holds true...and may God increase our anticipation of that future fulfillment! 

Merry Christmas--and even so, come quickly, Lord Jesus!