A Paper in Four Days: A Tale of God's Grace

So...that story of an "encouraging" note I promised? It's coming. :) God had other plans for me that week!

I woke up Monday morning and got online to double-check whether my research paper of 20+ pages was due on Friday or Saturday. I got the surprise of my life to find out it was due in 16 hours. I still haven't figured out why he would make the last assignment due on Monday when there was still 5 days of class left.
Whatever his reasoning...it caught me off guard. For the record, the due date was in two places; the one I happened to see was the least reliable. That's my life and grad school, let me tell you. ;)

The next four days were run on adrenaline...and God's grace, for sure. I quickly emailed my teacher, explained to him my life of the past few weeks (which for me has been grocery shopping and house cleaning while my parents endure doctors appointments and surgeries), explaining that I had gotten behind the week before due to aforementioned activities. That was the reason I had looked to see the exact due date of the paper, because I felt too behind to be done by Friday and was hoping for a due date on Saturday. (Ha!)

He emailed back, understanding and (though certainly not without still planning to dock me for being late), gave me permission to be late. I posted my predicament on facebook and gathered some prayer warriors...

And the next four days held 24 hours of work over all four days, 2 all-nighters, gathering a few last resources to make minimum count (I know this post is not making me sound very responsible...but I tell it because of how great God is!), and writing 18 pages. At 11 pm Thursday night, I was at my wit's end to write another word.

don't worry--that coffee lasted me the whole week :)
on the right from the top: Bible study breaks,
all-nighter inspiration,
pile of research books,
and of course who would have lasted without chocolate??

I decided to take a break and review the guidelines for the paper. In there I found the sweetest words I could read at the time: my already two-page bibliography counted as part of the word count. My paper now stood at 20 pages...and that's all I needed. I was done. As I posted on facebook shortly after this, after explaining the exciting end: " 'Nough said. Paper done. Class finished. Time for sleep!!!!" :)

God was incredibly good that week. We never deserve God's blessings, and doubly so in this case. While I wonder why my teacher would be so radically different and have a due date 5 days earlier than anyone else ever does, it was my fault for not finding the deadline earlier. I never plan well for papers in the first place and usually am pushing the deadlines anyway.

But the story isn't over. The results of this rushed paper? Basically the best grad paper I've written so far concerning the grade. When I first heard the news of the deadline, I despared of passing the class, let alone the paper. But's God's grace shines forth.

Sometimes I wonder if grad school is really what I should be doing. It's so difficult...I don't particularly enjoy it...sometimes I doubt that it really is beneficial. I may complain about this teacher or that assignment. I didn't ask for grad school. But God gave it to me.

I need to accept that there will be a disconnect between teacher/student when it comes to online classes. And that there are assignments I won't like or don't see the point of (as if undergrad on campus had no such issues...) And that it's a big deal to me, and have a lot harder time balancing life--family, work, church--with school, worse than I experienced with undergrad.

Sometimes difficulties might be roadblocks, but sometimes they are just hurdles God wants us to jump over and then keep running. So I'm running still. This is the second week of another 8-week semester. I've already began collecting my books for my next research paper--I firmly believe that to presume upon grace is not a good idea. :)

I remind myself often that diving deeper into God's Word is never a waste, that I do want to be prepared to minister and serve people in whatever capacity God chooses in the future. And when I stand on the other end, I will look back and be glad I did it as I see God's hand at work.

Maybe, perhaps, those deadlines and assignments and challenges and stresses are meant to draw me closer to the One who gave me this grad school assignment in the first place. So I'm still running...and yes, looking forward to that still in-the-distant-future day when the finish line appears!

this was my "pep talk" for the week!



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