Hardships

On one hand, I hesitate to say I've been shattered by hardships. The hardships I've known are certainly not the worst life can hold.

But yes, I've known hardships.

I've seen plans and ideals and dreams shatter.

I've despised them.

But I'm learning not to--for whose daughter would I be if I did not experience such things? {See Hebrews 12:7-11}

As the Gospel Primer says later, "on the other side of each layer of dying lie experiences of a life with God that are far richer, far higher, and far more intimate than anything I would have otherwise known" (page 42).

Amen and amen to that. I would indeed rather have Jesus!

May I encourage you today to keep on?

For the moment all discipline

seems painful rather than pleasant,

but later it yields the peaceful fruit

of righteousness to those who have

been trained by it.

 

{Hebrews 12:11}

:My Treasure:

 

The cross of Christ, my treasure,
the blood of Christ, my plea,

His sacrifice for sinners, my hope eternally.

My life is hid in Jesus, my Lord, my God, my King!

The cross of Christ, my treasure;
the blood of Christ, my plea.

 

~Cheryl Reid~

from We Are Your Church

::The Invested Life:: {book review}

{by Joel C. Rosenburg and T.E. Koshy}

This book begins with an overview of discipleship, emphasizing that the Great Commission is not just preaching the Gospel to unbelievers but to make disciples. They include one chapter on being disciple (how can one know how to disciple unless following the example of one who invested in his own life?), but the rest of the book is about being a discipler. Who needs to be disciple? How does one go about discipling, anyway? What is the end objective?

In between the how-to chapters are personal testimonies, beginning with the American couple who discipled a young man named Bakht Singh, who eventually became known as India's greatest evangelist. Singh in turn discipled Koshy, who discipled Rosenburg, who is discipling others. The author's wives also share their testimonies. The discipling spiral shown in these testimonies is an inspiring addition to the book as a whole as well as providing good information

Rosenburg--and Koshy and their wives--make many good observations and share helpful advice. I love a statement by Lynn Rosenburg about how her mentors showed her to love God more than loving ministry and service. The advice that stood out to me involved showing hospitality and involving the family in ministry.

Did I agree with everything? No. For one thing, I would have appreciated a greater Gospel presence, especially at the beginning. Too many people think they're saved and want to do ministry, when they're not truly trusting Christ for salvation and serving Him in love through His power.

Overall, worth the read? Definitely.

{written for an entry in the Tyndale Summer Reading program}

Still LoLo {book review}

Lauren Scruggs endured a gruesome accident that involved a private 2-seat airplane propeller. Today she lives with a prosthethic eye and left arm. While not hard-core Gospel driven, the Scruggs family do a great job of giving all praise to our sovereign, good, and gracious God.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0088NXOAY/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1372556064

*Cons

• her world of fashion and independence are a world removed from mine, from my convictions and standards
• a lot of talk about dating and guys...although she point-blank says at the end that she does not find her identity in them anymore, but rather place her hope in Christ alone

*Pros

• seeing not just a life, but a family tested and come out at the other end praising God and trusting Him as their source of strength, hope, and grace
• Lauren's story of her second time in New York was a tale of rebellion and sin leading to more sin. She went, knowing perfectly well God was saying no, because she wanted to. She compromised in many areas that summer, but I appreciated her testimony of renewal, God's grace, and God's constant watch over and protection of His children, even when they are running away from Him

While I would have appreciated a clear presentation of the Gospel, I was otherwise pleasantly surprised by the story. Afterall, what connection would I find with a fashion journalist who lost her eye and arm?

But I had forgotten that God's grace is greater and more amazing than the specific circumstances and details!

::Written for the purpose of fulfilling requirements for the summer reading program through Tyndale!::

Intentionality

“When I wish to be selfish and serve no one, I must die.”

 

Story of my life.

I’m a phlegmatic—who tend to be nice but also lean way too often toward selfishness.

I’m a planner—not that every single day is planned out minutely, but when I do, that time is mine.

I’m also human—I have long days, bad days, and come home tired and just want to be by myself. Sometimes I’m sick. Sometimes I’m just in a bad mood.

But in each of those areas and situations, I must die. Life is not about Laura. Life is about Jesus Christ. I do not portray the glory of Christ when I wear a scowl or ignore the clean dishes in the dishwasher or don’t stop to ask family members about their day or a million other things that I do.

It is often easy to overlook and ignore the character flaws that occur in everyday mundane activities and situations. Responses and reactions happen quickly. It’s takes too much energy to deal with it. But I must die. Jesus will never look at me and say “congratulations for following your schedule!” but I do desire Him to say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

The question is…how much do I desire it? Enough to give the energy and attention to die to sin and self?

 

The Impact of the Cross

 

See from His head, His hands, His feet,

Sorrow and love flow mingled down!

Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,

Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

 

 

His dying crimson, like a robe,

Spreads o’er His body on the tree;
Then I am dead to all the globe,

And all the globe is dead to me.

 

 

-When I Survey the Wondrous Cross

by Isaac Watts-

 

 

Excruciating...Yet Abundant

“When called to do something I don’t want to do, I must die.”

 

There’s a million different aspects to writing this post. In fact, this is about the fourth draft I’ve started. A lot of life right now can be summed up in “something I don’t want to do.” A few big things, a lot of little things…

It was not my idea, back in 2009, to put my writing on the back burner and focus on other things. Other things that, yes, I did want, but not at the expense of my writing.

It was not my idea to have a multiple-years-long trial. Or two.

It was not my idea, as much as I love the kids in my Sunday night class, to lead and plan this ministry for the past year.

My biggest physical identity right now is grad school. Grad school was not my first post-undergraduate plan. Especially online through Northland. It was not my idea to stay home and work the same job I’d had since 2005 rather than move to Greenville for two years, be a graduate assistant, and work in a church plant pastored by one of my favorite BJU teachers. It was not my idea to find out that in terms of years I’m probably only half done with my program, when this would have been graduation year if I had gone to BJU (as it was for several of my friends!).

Crucifixion, as Vincent says, is excruciating.

First year grad school certainly was—although that year was more about rebellion than it was about death.

Letting go of my writing ideals was a “gasping and bloody affair.”

Learning through these ongoing trials is “heart-wrenching brutality.”

Letting go of my ideals for Truth Trackers is certainly not “easy.”

Something that God constantly has been reminding me lately is that my time is not my own.

God has the right to determine that I will attend grad school, and that it will take longer than I think necessary. God has the right to take away my writing. God has the right to determine how He will grow and sanctify me and those around me. God has the right to lead my former Truth Tracker leaders into another ministry and leave it to me, rather than finding someone to step into their shoes so I can keep wearing the ones I had been. God has the right to do with my life what He sees fit.

Therefore, I must die when His plans are different than mine.

I rebelled badly when God changed the plan from 2 years in Greenville to online school for an indefinite period of time. I didn’t want to do grad school in the first place, so God could have at least done it the way that seemed more exciting or beneficial or logical, right? I went through all the right motions—applying, registering for classes, fulfilling assignments. I knew I was struggling…but it wasn’t until much later that I realized how much I wasn’t just struggling, but rebelling. I was refusing to die to my plans and dreams, as though I knew better than God and God had made a mistake.

I honestly don’t look back at 2011 with fond memories. Oh sure, I bought my car. Rachel and I took a road trip to Greenville. I counseled at both teen camp and junior camp. Those were amazing, precious gifts from God. But I turned around and spurned the grace God was pouring into my life by basically saying “thanks, but what about these areas over here? You forgot about that one.”

As if I deserved my wonderful car, a great trip back to my beloved alma matter with my sister, and getting to do ministry within my church body. Last I checked, God owes me nothing. In fact, I am the one that sent Jesus to the cross. What I deserve is God’s wrath and separation from Him. He didn’t have to save me, but in His grace and mercy, He did.

I owe Him everything. How can I not accept a change a plans, a different timing, hardships, letting go of my ideals? Yes, as humans, life is a big deal. I’m not saying these things shouldn’t hurt. After all, crucifixion is excruciating. What I am saying is that I didn’t have to rebel.

Tears aren’t rebelling. Crying out to God is not rebelling.

A cold heart is rebelling. Clasping fingers tightly is rebelling. The hearts and the fingers we must surrender.

Looking back at 2012 reveals definite steps in the right direction, though not always perfectly on course.

And 2013? It’s been sweet. Excruciating still, yes. But surrender brings sweet peace and joy in the midst of that. I’ve been on both sides, so I know—although I’m sure I’ll look back later and see that I wasn’t finished yet even now. But praise God that “on the other side of each layer of dying lie experiences of a life with God that are far richer, far higher, and far more intimate than anything I would have otherwise known” (Gospel Primer, 42).

And would I rather stay in the dark and gloomy confines of rebellion, or would I rather endure the heart-wrenching bloodiness of abundant life?

“He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin
and live to righteousness.”
{I Peter 2:24}

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.
I came that they may have life
and have it abundantly.”
{John 10:10}