::Plans::

Plans.

 

 

This week has been a little crazy, deviating from the normal plan--my entire work week was rearranged and has included more than one double shift. And then there was Monday night Bible study, and the third week of Good News Club, and Thursday night Bible class as church. I've had to repeat to myself over and over again the day's activities in order...and oh yeah, what day actually is it again??

 

I plan to attend a Biblical counseling conference in a few weeks. I plan to go to Israel in June. I plan to take a class in March.

 

I have shelled out a lot of money already for this conference--I've always wanted to go to Israel--one more class means two more credits closer to graduating--but in reality I have no control over these plans or any other I might make. Interruptions and disappointments come up that I would rather not plan on.

 

But one of my favorite songs on one of my favorite CDs reminds me,

Sovereign One, You work all things to Your plan.

Sovereign One, You hold all things in Your hands.

 

That I can count on. Even when, as the song goes on, I don't understand or I don't like what's going on...I can trust. And I must.

Thirty Days

At the end of last month, I was talking about dreams. It was rather ironic, actually.

You see, four years ago, in the middle of my senior year at college as a Creative Writing major, God asked me to put my writing--fiction writing--on the back burner. I knew He hadn't completely taken it away, but even the indefinite setting aside was painful.

I've tampered with writing a few short stories over the last few Christmas breaks, but always heard the whisper, "not yet."

When I found out I would not be taking any classes this fall, I wondered what on earth to do with my time. It did not take me long to think of National Novel Writing Month--where a bunch of crazy people sign up to write a novel in one month with the only prize being a congratulations. That would be my sister's definition, anyway. For me, it was a challenge and a goal and accountability and just the chance to write.

And the most important thing--God said "yes, now."

NaNoWriMo is completely customizable, but in general the goal is 50,000 words in one busy month of November. (On the 20th, when I should have been well over halfway to 50,000, I think I had just 15,000.) This past week and a half was crunch time, and thankfully my schedule cleared. As often as possible, I tucked myself away in a booth at some coffee shop and wrote like crazy. I am thankful that the twins I nanny decided to have nice long naps for the whole month! Although, at my other nanny family, I more often than not typed with a sleeping baby in my arms during Big Brother's nap, afraid that if I put Little Sister down, she would wake up again and then I would get no writing done at all.

I wrote over half of my words in the last 10 days, but I did it. My file stands at 51,071 words. I've sent it in and been declared a NaNo "winner" (everyone's a winner above 50,000 words :)).

For the past few years, I've lived through November and thought "someday."

My someday came, and I praise God for that.

Sometimes God gives dreams back, and in His impeccable timing, makes them come true.



I stayed up past midnight to begin writing right away on November 1st.
(Somehow, staying up until 2am writing a novel is much more fun
than staying up until 2am doing homework. Go figure.)
After decorating for Christmas most of the morning, I set out to finish
a few thousand words. It was official at 5:11pm today!



1) November 1st ~ Ready to get started!!
2) top left and bottom right=Coffee shop views
3) Formerly mentioned sleeping baby...
4) November 30th ~ Heading home, feeling accomplished and grateful



Dreams

"When dreams that are good

seem shoved aside, I must die."

 

When I first copied this over, I originally put "are shoved aside." Correction: seem shoved aside. I love that. We don't know the end of the story, but as for me, I serve the One who does know.

 

In thinking of dreams, I thought of Abraham, and how God gave Him a vision--a promise--of great blessing of family and land and ultimately a Savior. Abraham surely had dreamed of a son and probably even greatness, and God blew his mind away with His answer.

 

I thought of Sarah, whose pursuit of her dream caused unimaginable tension. Hannah's dream was a baby. Do you think Esther ever dreamed of saving her people? What do you think David's dreams were? Or Daniel's? Or Mary's? Or Peter's?

 

And what about the unnamed others--the little Israelite boy who dreamed over helping to conquer the Promised Land? Or the priest in Babylon who dreamed of returning to Jerusalem? Or the little girl who witnessed one or two of Jesus' miracles? God knew their dreams, too.

 

Do you have dreams? Sometimes it's scary to dream. Sometimes it seems foolish. Sometimes I don't know what to think--but God knows. He knows that the best place for my dreams is in His capable hands.

 

He also knows--and teaches us to know as well--that only as we hope in Him, rather than in the fulfillment of our dreams, will we be satisfied.

 

Sometimes our dreams come true...sometimes they don't. And so we must die to our dreams, say "Your will be done," and allow God to resurrect them as He chooses.

 

What are your dreams...what are you doing with them?

"When wants that are

borderline needs are left unmet,

I must die."

 

"Preaching the gospel to myself every day reminds me of God's astounding love for me and also of His infinite worthiness to be loved by me above all else. These reminders deliver a on-two punch to my innate self-absorption and leave me increasingly absorbed with Christ and with God's ultimate plan to gather together all heavenly and earthly things in Him."

 

--The Gospel Primer, p. 31

Secret Sins

"When wishing to keep

besetting sins secret,

I must die."

 

 

"The Cross also exposes me before the eyes of other people, informing them of the depth of my depravity. If I wanted others to think highly of me, I would conceal the fact that a shameful slaughter of the perfect Son of God was required that I might be saved. ...Indeed, the most humiliating gossip that could ever be whispered about me is blared from Golgotha's hill; and my self-righteous reputation is left in ruins in the wake of it revelations. With the worst facts about me thus exposed to the view of others, I find myself feeling that I truly have nothing left to hide."

 

--The Gospel Primer, p.34

 

 

 

The World Behind Me, the Cross Before Me...

More Worldliness quotes...

 

"Yes, resisting worldliness requires strenuous effort. It's an inside problem and hard heart-work will be needed to effectively cut it out. And it's a lifelong battle. We must resist its influence until our dying breath." (pg 33)

"Do you want the world to lose its appeal? Then crowd out worldliness by filling your affections with the cross of Christ. Crucify the world as a dead and undesirable thing by meditating on the love of the Savior. Resist the bait of the world by gazing at the wondrous cross. For it is 'the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ,' wrote Paul, 'by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world' (Gal. 6:14)." (pg 34)

Worldliness

"When enticed by allurements

of the world, I must die."

 

Sometimes I joke about my mud hut in Africa. I'm in a missions major with no plan or vision for what God will do with it--it could be stateside, or maybe end up not directly be related to missions at all. And it's not as if I don't get caught up in "of course I need that" and yes, I frequent not-so-cheap coffee shops (mostly on gift cards and rarely out of pocket, I might add :) ). When I'm tempted to buy and get and gain, I remind myself to think of "my little mud hut." Will it be needed there? Will it matter there? Not that I should necessarily live as if I live in a mud hut in Africa right now--I live in a typical American suburban home, and that's okay. This is where God has put me for now. The danger in "getting and gaining" is doing so apart from Christ.

 

"There may be nothing wrong with these desires in and of themselves; but when they dominate the landscape of our lives--when we must have them or else!--we've succumbed to idolatry and worldliness."* (pg. 30)

  

Allurements of the world go beyond just physical stuff, however.

 

The world entices to pursue your own path, to do it your way. To live for the moment. To live for self.

 

All of these are vast opportunities to die to self--and die we must, or disobey a direct command from God.

 

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."

{1 John 2:15}

 

"We've let down our guard against worldliness. And as a love for the things of this world has infiltrated the church, it has watered down and weakened our witness. It threatens to silence our clarion call for repentance and faith in the Savior."* (pg. 22)

 

*Quotes from Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World edited by C.J. Mahaney

 

http://www.amazon.com/Worldliness-ebook/dp/B002SVQCYC/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1381286289&sr=1-1&keywords=worldliness