The Month of May

Have you had an inkling of what's been going on in my life lately? Or maybe you've just thought all my favorite verses have to do with wisdom and guidance--not that would be bad, of course.

This past month, and even past couple of months, and the past six months, have held several twists and turns. Closed doors. Plans that faded away into nothing. I felt sure that God was behind at least most of those things; I didn't think I was following my own way. So what happened?

What is happening?

I don't know. And honestly, it's been a struggle to hang on to the fact that God does know. Theologically, I know that God is sovereign and knows what happens before it happens. But when things seem to be falling apart, it's very tempting to believe that something slipped through the cracks and God's forgotten about me or at least didn't care.

That's what I do--forget about things (or people) and don't care about things (or people) sometimes. That's not what God does.

God is good. He is faithful. He is merciful. He is gracious. He is love.

I read a Psalm every morning and love it. They are so applicable. Rebuking. Encouraging. Even as I identify with the emotions expressed, they take my focus off myself and back to where they should be.

So I said, "Oh, that I had wings like a dove!

I would fly away and be at rest.

Indeed I would wander far off,

And remain in the wilderness.

I would hasten my escape

From the windy storm and tempest."

Cast your burden on the Lord,

And He shall sustain you;

He shall never permit

  the righteous to be moved.

You number my wanderings;

Put my tears into Your bottle;

Are they not in Your book?

Be merciful to me, O God,

   be merciful to me!

For my soul trusts in You;

And in the shadow of Your wings

   I will make my refuge,

Until these calamities have passed by.

I will cry out to God Most High,

To God who performs all things for me.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;

Let Your glory be above all the earth.

~excerpts from Psalms 55, 56, and 57

I'm still praying. Still wondering. Still trusting.

God is working! And whatever He's doing in the background, right now He's calling for a deeper relationship with Him. My plans and ideas can so often get in the way of the One Important Thing. This summer will be a lot different than  I had expected or even wanted, but I haven't lost the best summer plans--spending time with Jesus!